Spindles
by FutureMrsStabler
Summary: Sequel to A Spider's Web. Everyone is breathing easier now that Elliot is found, but they are about to discover that his wounds are deeper than what first meets the eye.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

The team came crashing down after finding Elliot. The adrenaline wore off with the lifting of the helicopter. Cragen had practically dropped the transmission in the Crown Victoria in his race toward the hospital.

Munch hadn't located his partner in the mob of officers clearing the scene, and had assumed that Fin had already left. He had opened the door to his car and found Fin bawling in the passenger seat. It was the first time Munch had ever seen him cry….and to say he was shocked was an understatement to describe his reaction.

Olivia was conked out for the entire trip to the hospital, which took 20 minutes. The sharp drop of the chopper landing startled her awake. She felt Elliot's dead weight against her, and looked down at him to see that he hadn't budged. He was burrowed into her side like a mole, fast asleep. She had become concerned when she wasn't able to wake him.

The paramedics had come in and attempted to wake him, and Elliot jolted awake. He freaked out and nearly broke Olivia's arm in his panic. She immediately sat up straight to keep him from rolling off of the bench seat, and held up her hand to stop the medics from restraining him. She bent down and whispered soothing words in his ear, keeping her arms to the side. He had calmed down enough for the medics to inject him with a sedative.

The four of them had met up inside the hospital and waited for word. Several groups of officers filtered in over the next two hours, offering support, and were just as anxious to find out about their colleague. Cragen kept an eye on his three. They hadn't spoken the entire time they had been there, simply sitting stiffly. He was surprised they were able to function; he himself was so tired he thought he might collapse.

Dr. Jacob Adams walked out into the room and scanned the area. Seeing the uniformed police officers, he headed for them. They saw him coming and all jumped up as one.

"I assume you are all here for Elliot Stabler?" he asked.

Cragen nodded. "Can we see him?" an officer asked.

The doctor bit his lip. "Are any of you relatives?" he asked.

Cragen didn't miss a beat. "Yes," he answered, deliberately avoiding the eyes of his detectives. "I'm his father." He pointed to Munch, Olivia, and Fin. "These are his brothers and sister."

The other officers kept silent, knowing that the words may as well have been true.

Dr. Adams nodded. "I'm afraid I can only speak with his family at the moment," he said apologetically. The officers backed off immediately, not wanting to cause trouble. They knew that they would be informed as soon as possible.

The doctor sat down with the four of them. They each wore the same desperate, anxious expression. "How is he?" Fin asked. Olivia felt her heart drop at the look on the doctor's face. He lowered his eyes to the clipboard in his hands, taking a breath before meeting their eyes.

"I don't want to upset you," he began. "Are you sure you can handle this right now? I can certainly come back."

"We rescued him ourselves, Doctor," Cragen cut in. "Nothing you say can upset us more than what we've already seen."

Adams nodded and launched in. "Elliot's condition is very serious," he said. "He has severe trauma to his immune system from a prolonged period of dehydration and starvation, as well as lack of sleep. We have him hooked up to IVs to try and replenish the fluids he has lost over the past week." He flipped the page on the clipboard. "He is suffering extreme hypothermia. We are doing everything we can to raise his body temperature, but it remains right now at 20 degrees lower than normal."

Munch felt his throat close at the doctor's words, but forced his expression to remain neutral.

"From what we saw, it looks like he was restrained for the entire time he was held captive. There is tissue damage and swelling of his wrists, and there are several broken fingers on each hand. Blistering around his mouth indicates he was also gagged for an infinite amount of time, most likely from packaging tape."

The Captain's hands were clenched into fists so tight that his knuckles were turning purple.

He continued, "We had to perform a series of painful skin grafts to patch his right shoulder. The circumference of the wound was 13 centimeters." The doctor looked visibly disgusted as he said, "It looks like it was sliced into like a pumpkin."

Fin flinched at the words, and the doctor went silent as he saw the effect his description was having on the detectives.

"I'm very sorry to have to tell you this," he said slowly. "There is a more serious concern that I haven't yet mentioned."

Tears had slowly streamed down Olivia's face while Dr. Adams had been telling them of her partner's condition. She held her breath, not sure if she could take whatever it was he was about to say.

The doctor bit his lip and looked at the four distraught figures before him. They looked exhausted, terrified, and furious all at the same time. No matter how many times he delivered upsetting news to families of his patients, it never got easier, and now was no exception. Sighing, he took a breath and dropped the bomb.

"A series of deep stab wounds was found in both of his arms that travel from the forearm to the wrists. There is severe sinew damage and a total of 100 torn muscle ligaments. We also suspect permanent nerve damage, as Elliot is not responding to stimulus in the areas at all."

Olivia's eyes were wide with total fear now. "What are you saying, Doctor?" she asked, on the verge of losing it completely.

The man's eyes were sad as he said, "We may face the situation of having to amputate his arms below the elbows."

**I'm back! Get ready for a new, wild ride! Please read and review…thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

Olivia couldn't hold back her horrified gasp, and clapped a hand over her mouth to silence it.

"That will certainly be a last resort," the doctor hastened to say. "We're going to continue to monitor his condition and run tests over the course of the next few days. Hopefully it will only be temporary."

"Can we see him?" Munch repeated the question Fin had asked in impatience.

"He's still under from the anesthesia we administered during surgery, so he won't even know you're there," Dr. Adams said. "But I don't see the harm. Just be quiet."

They nodded, and he pointed them toward the Intensive Care wing. "I have other patients to see," he said. "But don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions."

Don stepped up to the man and offered him a hearty handshake. "Thank you so much, Doctor Adams," he said sincerely. "You have no idea how grateful we are to you."

The man smiled, because he did have an idea. "No need to thank me," he said, smiling. "But you're welcome." He nodded to them and walked away.

The four of them turned a corner, and were unnerved by the change in activity they encountered. The Intensive Care wing was extremely quiet, the atmosphere seeming almost fragile. Cragen stopped by the nurses' station to get Elliot's room number, and they went toward it.

Stopping outside of room 213, Cragen took a deep breath as he clutched the door handle. Suddenly, he wasn't at all sure he was ready to see what was awaiting them. The detectives looked at him in confusion when he didn't immediately open the door. The look on their captain's face mirrored what they were all thinking.

"Captain," Munch said softly.

He startled, and quickly shook off his thoughts as he gently pushed the door open. They filed inside.

Elliot was sprawled in the bed, looking almost unconscious. He was sleeping so heavily that his head drooped limply to the side of the pillow as he breathed loud, exhausted breaths. A blanket wrapped his entire body from his toes to his neck, and the four found themselves selfishly thankful that they couldn't see his wounds.

They all stood staring at him in silent shock until Olivia moved away. She walked over to the side of the bed and looked down at her best friend with tears in her eyes. She sighed softly to stop herself from breaking down and gently stroked the side of his face with her fingers.

The other three snapped out of it then, and went to join her. Cragen's face was twisted in sadness as he softly spoke. "We're with you, Elliot. Come back to us." He swallowed hard.

A knock was heard at that moment, and Munch went to open the door. A nurse stepped inside. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "But visiting hours are going to be over in about five minutes."

Don walked over to the nurse. "I know it's not usually standard procedure," he asked. "But would it be alright if I stayed here tonight?"

The blonde woman looked at the group standing in the room, and at the man in the bed. She had heard bits and pieces of this man's story from the other nurses on staff, and was sympathetic. "It's not standard procedure," she agreed softly. "But I'm his call nurse tonight, and I won't tell." She offered him a smile, which he softly returned.

"Could I stay as well?" Olivia asked, desperately. The nurse bit her lip. One stowaway could be overlooked, but two…. "I'm afraid not, miss," she said. "It would inevitably attract more attention, and I'm already bending the rules."

"That's alright, ma'am," Cragen cut in. "Thank you very much for letting me stay. We'll just be a minute." His tone had a certain authority, and she found herself leaving the room quietly.

"Please, Captain…" Olivia looked over at her partner again. "Please, I need to be with him." The others were realizing just how shaken up she had been by Elliot's disappearance. She was on the verge of tears.

"Olivia," he said gently. He stood in front of her and lightly gripped her shoulders. "I understand you want to be near him. We're all exhausted. Go home, get some sleep, and I promise I'll call you as soon as he wakes up."

She bit her lip, shaking her head. Fin moved up and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Come on, Liv," he said. "He's going to be asleep all night anyway. Come with us. We all need some sleep."

Munch nodded in agreement, and she sighed in defeat.

"Get some rest, you guys," Cragen said. "We don't need to get sick on top of all this."

"Good night, Captain," Munch said, as the three of them opened the door.

"Hey." Cragen's voice stopped them as they were leaving. They turned back. He looked at them, his eyes suspiciously bright. "You all did a hell of a job," he said gruffly. "You should be proud of yourselves. I know I am."

They looked at him, but none could speak. Munch nodded again, speaking for them all, and smiled as they shut the door behind them.

A yell startled Cragen awake in the early morning, and he shot up from the cot on the floor, hand automatically moving for his gun. He stopped as he got his bearings and remembered where he was, and jumped up quickly. He went to the bedside and switched on the overhead light.

Elliot was sitting up with a terrified expression on his face. His chest heaved with sobs as tears dripped down his cheeks. "What's the matter?" Don asked urgently, hand reaching for the nurse call button. "What's the matter, Elliot?" His heart hammered in his chest.

He didn't speak. His face crumbled as he sobbed loudly, dropping his head. Cragen recognized the look of fear on his face and dropped the call button. He leaned over and supported himself against the side of the bed as he took Elliot into a warm hug.

"It's alright," he said softly, catching his breath from the initial panic he felt. He felt Elliot collapse against him and try to grab hold, but his arms wouldn't cooperate. Don gripped him securely and tried his best to comfort him. "It's alright, Elliot. I'm with you. Everything's alright."

Elliot gulped in breaths as he started to shake. "Ca-captain?" he whispered fearfully.

"Yeah, buddy," Cragen whispered. He patted his back tenderly. "It's me. I'm with you."

Elliot gulped again and let out a shaky breath, lowering his head down and burying it against Don's shirt. He closed his eyes and tried to catch his breath. Cragen gently smoothed the back of his neck, rocking him gently. "You're safe," he said softly. He could see that Elliot was struggling to remain awake. "Go back to sleep, Elliot. I've got you."

He dropped off the instant Cragen said those words, going limp in his embrace. He didn't have the heart to move him, so Don gently moved so that he could sit on the bed and held his detective in his arms as he slept. He reached up carefully and turned out the light again, breathing a quiet sigh.

He had been waiting for this to happen. Rescuing him had put his detectives at ease, but Cragen knew from experience that Elliot was far from ok. He knew that he was going to have to prepare his team for the coming storm. Elliot's wounds hadn't even begun to surface yet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

**Author's Note: **I would like to take a minute to clear up something. No matter how it may look, this is not, and I repeat **not** an E/O story. I am not an advocate for them getting together romantically; sorry if that disappoints. The actions in the previous story done by Olivia (i.e. kissing Elliot on the lips and temples) are the product of a best friendship, and will continue throughout this story as well. I am writing the reactions of a nurturing and loving female when her best friend has had trauma. My best friend is a male and I often use gestures like kisses and hugs to comfort him when he is extremely upset. Clear as mud? Alright….whew. Let's get on with it, shall we?

The phone rang in Olivia's apartment at 7 am, and she lunged for it, knowing who it was. "Captain, hello?" she asked quickly.

"Olivia," he said quietly. _Too quietly_…her heart raced suddenly.

"What's wrong?" she asked, fighting tears.

"Nothing, Olivia. Relax," Cragen answered calmly. "I just don't want to wake up Elliot."

"Where are you?" she asked.

"I'm sitting beside his bed," he answered. "He didn't want me to leave him."

A minute of silence passed over the phone and she suddenly asked, "Captain, how is he? I want the truth."

He sighed. "He's terrified," he said heavily. Olivia felt like she had been sucker-punched. "He woke up early this morning screaming, and wouldn't sleep unless he had physical contact."

Olivia went completely silent, tears seeping from her eyes.

"You can come down anytime," he continued. "The staff understands."

"I'm on my way," she whispered finally, before hanging up. She sat still in her bed a minute, absorbing the emotions that were coursing through her, before swinging her legs over the side and standing.

Munch had held his emotions in check in front of the others at the hospital. Once he was in the privacy of his home that night, he broke. He slumped to his kitchen floor and cried like there was no tomorrow. He saw a little bit of hell on earth every day as an SVU detective….knowing the victim always made it harder. But when the victim was a friend, a fellow detective, a _brother_ practically……the rules were changed.

He had seen the aftermath of torture and kidnapping since he was 25 years old and a beat cop. Over time, he found he had become horribly jaded when it came to dealing with the victims. But this twisted his entire soul and wrenched it inside out. He felt such overwhelming pain for Elliot, and a raw rage that he had never experienced before against the man responsible for this.

He wasn't a violent person. People certainly never associated him with physical intimidation and anger. Ironically enough, that field was dominated hands-down by Elliot Stabler. The tables had been ruthlessly turned, and John found that he wanted nothing more than to indulge in it.

Fin left his apartment ten minutes after the captain's phone call and headed for the hospital. The morning sun was blinding, and he flipped the visor down quickly. He felt spited by the cheery morning. With the way he felt, it should have been storming. Why did this have to happen to Elliot? Of all the people in the world, he was the least to deserve what he had to go through.

When he first joined the squad, he was intimidated by Elliot. He'd sooner chew off his arm than tell anyone that, and never did. The way the others just seemed to naturally gravitate to him and he seemed to not notice. The way the captain let him get away with so much stuff that would have any other detective back in uniform in two seconds. The way he could walk into the room and the noise level would drop as they tried to gauge his mood. It drove him freaking nuts.

The longer he was with them, the more he noticed their personalities and talents. Elliot became the one that everyone hated and loved at the same time. He was the best detective in the unit, and the captain talked to him like a second-in-command most of the time. Fin spent a good portion of his time when he first arrived secretly trying to figure out what it was that this guy had that made him stand out among 100 police officers. He soon discovered that underneath his tough exterior, Elliot was a great guy and the most loyal friend that anyone could have. He considered Elliot a close friend after a month of working with him, and he didn't have too many in that category.

Cragen paced the small hallway outside Elliot's room. The doctors had asked him to wait outside while they conducted a final test. This would be the determining factor in whether his arms could be saved. He found himself praying fervently for a miracle. He honestly didn't know if the unit could survive without Elliot.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

Olivia, John, and Fin, each coming from a different direction, reached the hospital entrance at the same time, and each one jumped in surprise when they all reached for the door handle simultaneously. Munch would have laughed had the situation been different-three veteran New York police officers not paying attention to their surroundings and bumping into each other. Right now, laughter was the last thing on his mind as he held the door for Olivia and Fin.

"Captain." The breathless voice of Olivia made Don look up, and he was surprised to see the other two with her. He had called Fin only ten minutes ago. Looking past them at the clock on the wall, Cragen grew worried. The doctors had been in there twenty minutes.

"How is he?" Munch's voice brought him back to focus.

He shook his head. "The doctor's are in there now," he said. "They're doing one more test-"

A loud yell came from inside the room, making them all jump and whip around toward the door. They all recognized it. Cragen shoved the door open and charged inside with the other three hot on his heels. The team of doctor's looked at them in surprise and anger. "Hey!" one of them shouted. "You can't just-"

Olivia's eyes zoomed to the other end of the room. Three orderlies and two doctors had Elliot against the wall and were attempting to lift his arms above his head. He was fighting them desperately, screaming as loud as he could. Fury spread through her body.

"What the fuck are you doing?" she screamed, running to them. "Let go of him!"

She shoved one of them away harshly. They dropped their hold and Elliot slid to the floor, shaking.

"We need to get circulation back into his arms in order to do any testing," one of the orderlies said to Cragen quickly. "They need to be elevated. We weren't trying to hurt him."

Olivia crouched down and reached out her hand to her partner's shoulder. "Elliot-" she began.

Elliot startled her by jerking away quickly, scooting up against the corner of the wall quickly. The fear on his face was evident. "Get away from me!" he cried in panic.

Stunned, Olivia backed away slowly, looking to the others in shock.

"What in God's name is going on in here?" The infuriated voice of Dr. Adams came from the doorway. In their panic, Cragen suddenly realized he hadn't seen the doctor in the room.

Fin rounded on the doctor furiously. "What the hell are you guys thinking, restraining him like that!" he snarled angrily.

Dr. Adams shot a dark look to the other medical staff in the room. "I apologize, Detectives," he said. "They weren't aware of what happened." He turned to face his colleagues. "This is my fault. I didn't think to precaution you."

He turned toward the corner of the room, where Elliot was huddled into a tight ball, looking terrified. Olivia was still attempting to coax him out. "Give me a few minutes to get him calmed down," the doctor said softly. "He's still a little delusional from the pain medication. I'll do the test quickly once he's more relaxed."

The other doctors and orderlies left the room, apologizing profusely to the detectives. "Come on, Olivia," Cragen said. "Let's leave them alone."

She shot him a look of disbelief and turned back to her partner again. Her throat closed, and she stood up on shaky legs, numbly allowing them to guide her from the room.

Dr. Adams shut the door quietly behind them and turned around. Elliot was looking at him like a cornered animal, his eyes wild. "It's just you and me now, Elliot," he said in a calming voice. He inched his way over to the wall, careful not to invade his space. "Nobody is going to hurt you." He bent slowly to crouch down, keeping his distance.

"It's Dr. Adams," he continued. "You know me. I promise I'm not going to hurt you." He reached his hand out toward him. Elliot looked at him. The look in his eyes changed from defensive to frightened as he slowly drew away from the wall.

Once outside of the room, Olivia broke away and dashed into the women's room. The three men exchanged worried looks as they sank into chairs near the corridor.

She bolted through the double doors and stumbled into a stall as she began to vomit. Sobs racked her body as she heaved, and she let them out in the privacy of the empty bathroom. She had never, ever seen such a look of fear on a person like that before.

"Why Elliot?" she sobbed aloud, in a rage. "Why, God? He doesn't deserve this! Let me take his place….please God, let me take his place!" She sank to the floor and rested her head against the door of the stall, letting the tears drip into her lap.

"What are we going to do?" The sound of Munch's broken voice broke the intense silence that had settled over the three men, and Cragen tore his gaze away from his lap to look at him. John's eyes were wet with tears. He tried to speak again, but couldn't. He just shook his head.

The captain's mouth was dry. He bit his lip. Olivia returned then, her face showing signs of scrubbing, and dropped silently next to Fin. No one spoke again.

A half-hour later, the doctor came out of Elliot's room and shut the door behind him. "I offer my sincerest apologies again, Detectives," he said, startling them with his presence. "My staff had no idea of his circumstances or else I assure you they would not have done that."

"It's alright, Doctor," Cragen said, standing. "We owe you an apology as well. We're all a little tense right now."

Dr. Adams held up his hands. "I completely understand," he said easily. Olivia was beginning to like this man. "Now, down to business." They all stood in a huddle, surrounding him.

"I gave him a heavy tranquilizer to calm him down and also for any pain he might feel during the testing," he said. "It's very heavily medicated, so he'll be knocked out for a good portion of the day." He shifted his position slightly and continued. "The good news is we were able to stimulate a portion of the nerves, so we won't need to amputate."

Olivia let out a huge breath, visibly sagging in relief. Munch and Fin exchanged relieved looks. But the captain was still looking at the doctor warily. "What's the bad news?" he asked hesitantly.

The doctor sighed and shook his head. "Stimulation of the nerves is an involuntary reaction," he said. "The damage to his limbs has inhibited the connection to the cerebral cortex portion of his brain, which gives him the ability to move and react, and caused a break."

He saw the looks of confusion on their faces and hastened to explain. "Each of us has a command center in our brain that automatically makes our bodies move without us having to stimulate it. In Elliot's case, the command center has been disconnected. He has control over his legs and upper torso, but the upper body and arm region can't respond to his brain's commands to move."

They were silent for a long time. Munch was the first to find his voice. "How long will it last?"

"To be honest…." The doctor sighed again. "It could clear up in a day, or it could last for the rest of his life. All we can do is monitor and endure physical therapy until we see a change."

Cragen felt like the room was spinning. This wasn't happening. He was having a horrible dream. This couldn't be happening to one of his detectives, and certainly not to Elliot Stabler.

Dr. Adams cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I realize this is quite upsetting," he said, uneasily. "But I feel I must inform you that there is another aspect of this that you are going to need to prepare yourselves to face."

Munch felt like puking. _Another_ aspect? Elliot had been kidnapped, tortured, and potentially handicapped for life. There couldn't be anything worse than this…

Fin was having trouble filling his lungs with air. The thought of Elliot being paralyzed in his arms was so frightening that he couldn't even seem to process it. _This can't be happening,_ he thought in panic. _Not to us. Not to him…_

Olivia's face had turned deadly white. She wanted to beat the living shit out of something. _Anything._ The intense anguish she felt was eating her alive and she just wanted to be with her best friend.

The doctor gestured to the chairs. "Why don't we have a seat," he suggested.

They moved stiffly and dropped into chairs.

"I'm as concerned about his mental well-being as I am about the physical," he said. He looked directly at Cragen when he spoke, sensing that this man would be the one to have the most control. "How long was he held captive?"

Cragen scrunched his face up in thought. "We found the kidnapper's note….last Tuesday. Assuming that was the day he was taken, I'd say at least a week from then until we found him."

Dr. Adams nodded. "A person can have their entire psyche flipped around after three days if the influence is strong enough. Elliot was restrained and systematically tortured, mentally and physically, for at least seven days. Judging from the reactions we've gotten so far, his kidnapper must have used intense fear-inducing tactics to manipulate him."

Olivia's mind flew back to the day that the squad had received the cassette tape from the kidnapper. The sound of Elliot's terrified screams still hadn't evaporated from her memory, tormenting her at night.

"His kidnapper called himself "The Butcher"," Munch murmured. "Fear was probably his main objective."

"We're going to keep him here for at least one more day to monitor his recovery from the surgeries," Adams said. "But his emotional state could take much longer to recover. Now, I'm assuming from what I've seen that you four are close to him." He left the statement open.

Cragen nodded. "We might as well be blood," he said simply.

"He is going to need constant support for a long time. This kind of trauma can take years to bounce back from," Adams said. "We have an excellent psychology department here in the hospital. I can certainly refer you if you'd like some names."

The four of them looked at each other, trying to hold a conversation with their eyes.

"Can we have a minute, Doc?" Munch asked.

"Oh, of course," Dr. Adams said. "My shift ends in about five minutes. Take the rest of the day to consider the options. I will talk with you again tomorrow."

They all shook hands with him again and he disappeared down the hall.

Cragen sighed heavily as he sat down. "I can't do this, you guys," he said tiredly. He sighed and scrubbed at his eyes. "I can't just turn him over to some shrink." He bit his lip and looked at the other three, his eyes glassy. "You didn't see him last night…" His voice broke at the end and he cleared his throat.

"Captain." Olivia took a deep breath. "I want him to stay with me at my apartment. I need to be with him….please. I want to be with him."

Her statement didn't surprise him. Olivia and Elliot had been partners longer than any other detectives in SVU, and their relationship was envied. Some partners work together for years and never truly bond, but those two had clicked from the beginning. Their love for each other was something truly beautiful to witness simply because it wasn't obvious.

It was sharing a sandwich at lunchtime. It was automatically reaching across the desk to grab the other's empty coffee mug every time one went to get coffee. It was private jokes that made them crack up at random times when everyone around was working. It was putting one's career on the line to protect the reputation of the other. It was a stranger saying, "You two would make a perfect couple" and both of them almost gagging at the thought because it seemed like committing incest.

The ironic part was that Olivia and Elliot were renowned for having some of the worst knock-down-drag-out fights between them…..but if someone else attacked one of them verbally, the other would jump in like a mother lion defending a cub. No one messed with Olivia when Elliot was around, and no one messed with Elliot when Olivia was around.

Still, Cragen wasn't sure if they were ready for this. The past week had wreaked havoc on everyone, emotionally and physically- more than they had ever experienced before. This would be a life-changing adjustment for all of them, regardless of how it turned out in the end, and he knew that they had to seriously weigh the options before committing to a decision. The future of the Special Victims Unit was now in their hands.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

A nurse quietly walked into the detective's room. She was startled when she saw the woman asleep in the chair next to his bed with her hands clasping his. She moved around as quietly as she could, checking her patient's vitals, and softly closed the door behind her.

Olivia startled awake when she felt movement next to her. Disoriented, she lifted her head, wincing as the muscles in her neck popped. She blinked to clear her vision, and then she heard soft noises. She immediately remembered where she was and got up quickly, lifting herself partway onto the mattress.

"Liv…Olivia…." Elliot was twitching, his head thrashing against the pillow. His voice broke as he whimpered her name in his sleep, and her heart ached. She reached up and cupped his face gently in her hands, caressing his forehead and traveling to his cheeks.

"Shh…" she soothed softly, running one hand up through his hair. "I'm right here, honey. I'm right here with you." She continued the gentle caresses as tears of agony seeped from her eyes.

Although he didn't awaken, her actions seemed to calm him. He went silent after a few minutes and his head dropped limply back against the pillow, his breathing becoming deep and even.

Olivia bit her lip and stifled the sorrowful tears streaming down her face. It killed her to see Elliot so frightened, so…vulnerable. Sniffling quietly, she continued to stroke all over his face. An overwhelming feeling of protectiveness washed over her as she watched him sleep.

She was unaware that she had dozed off until she felt a hand on her shoulder. Jumping, she shot her head up to meet the eyes of her captain. He didn't miss the way her eyes immediately flew to the bed to make sure Elliot was still sleeping peacefully.

"Why don't you go home and get some sleep?" Don whispered. He set the duffle bag he held onto the floor next to the door.

She yawned. "What time is it?" she asked sleepily.

"It's about 7:30," he said. Her eyes flew wide in surprise. The last time she had looked at her watch, it had been almost noon. "Have you eaten anything today?"

She shook her head even as she felt her stomach automatically growl. "I'll get something on my way," she said. "Where are the guys?"

"Fin went home at about 2," he said. "John is at the station with the other officers."

Olivia hadn't realized that while they were with Elliot, their fellow officers had been doing all they could to gather as much evidence as possible to be used in court against the kidnapper.

A light knock sounded, and a nurse poked her head in. "Pardon me," she said softly.

"Please, come in," Don said. The woman stepped inside and shut the door quickly to keep the light from disturbing Elliot.

"I just wanted to make sure you knew that Elliot is being released tomorrow," she said. "Have you given thought to a possible psychologist for him?"

They were silent a minute. Olivia fielded the question before Don could answer. "We have," she replied. "We're still deciding at the moment. Actually, I am going to take him to stay with me for the time being."

Don looked at her pointedly when she said that, but she ignored the gaze. She knew he was against her keeping him at her apartment. He was looking out for her well-being as much as he was Elliot's; she knew that. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate his concern. It wasn't going to be an easy task, and she knew that she was likely to be tested more than when she had to find him.

But there was no way that the captain could understand just how traumatized she was. Olivia had thought for sure that Elliot was going to die at the hands of that monster. She had come just short of completely losing her mind while the team was trying to find him. She was accustomed to his presence, and when he wasn't there she felt like half of her was missing, especially when she knew that he was in trouble. Now that he was back with her, she was going to do everything in her power to keep him in her sight at every second. He wasn't going to disappear again.

"Ok," the nurse said. "You can sign him out in the morning during visitor hours. We're going to be giving him another strong dose of tranquilizers in about an hour, so he'll be out for the night and most likely a good part of the morning."

They both nodded. "I have to check his IV's," she said. "I'll just be a minute."

A cell phone rang, and Olivia reached into her pocket. "It's mine," Cragen said. "Excuse me." He went out of the room.

The nurse puttered around, writing some things down on the chart at the foot of the bed, and went over to the IV drip above Elliot's head. She reached down and gently removed the needle from his arm, and he whimpered at the sudden pain. Olivia felt a pang slice through her heart at the sound. The nurse looked at her sympathetically. "He can't move his arms, but he still has feeling in them," she said softly, as she switched out the bag.

Olivia flinched when the nurse re-inserted the needle, and he moaned again. The woman covered him more securely with the blankets and finally stepped back. She looked at Olivia, who looked like she was trying not to cry. "I'm sorry about that," she said sincerely. "I tried to do it as quick as I could." She bit her lip, nodding. The nurse wrote on the chart once more before bidding her goodnight and leaving the room.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Don almost dropped the phone in shock at the words coming from the other end.

"Just what I said, Captain." Munch looked around at the busy squad room as he held the receiver to his ear. "The group of officers that went to retrieve the kidnapper from the sewer after we rescued Elliot found an empty pair of handcuffs on the ground. They searched the area for hours, but it's no use. The guy is gone."

Cragen's eyes were wide in disbelief. _Dear God…what if he's coming after Elliot again?_ He turned around and gazed through the window at Olivia, sitting next to her partner. She was stroking his hairline absently as he slept.

"Captain?" Munch asked, after not receiving a response.

"Sorry," he said, shaking himself. He turned around again. "Alright….let me think." He took a breath, completely thrown off kilter. This was a total nightmare. The whole situation was spiraling out of control faster than they could keep up. "I'm sending Olivia home," he said. "Tell everyone there to leave now and get some sleep. I'm staying here until she comes to get Elliot tomorrow morning. Have everyone there report back at 9 am tomorrow. I'll meet you there, and we'll discuss what to do next."

"Will do," Munch confirmed.

Cragen shook his head, still in utter disbelief. "John?" he said.

"Yeah?"

Don turned to the window once more and bit his lip as he stared at his two best detectives inside. "Whatever happens….don't let Olivia find out about this."

**Hey now…come on, cut me some slack here….I know it's not as action-packed as the first, but I promise if you stick it out you'll be pleased. I won't let you down, honest! Please send me some reviews!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

With an angry hiss, the man gingerly peeled off the Kevlar and pulled it out from underneath his poncho. He frowned at the huge bruises left on his ribcage and chest. That female cop had a good shot. Closing his eyes, he forced himself to detach his mind from the pain. In a few minutes, it passed, and he breathed a huge sigh of relief.

Reaching behind him, he carefully unearthed the police scanner from a pile of leaves. It was a good thing he had thought to grab it out of the Explorer before he took Elliot back with him. He had access to his squad's every move, and it had tickled him pink when they had been looking for his hideout. _Like a dog chasing its tail, _he thought gleefully. _They'll never catch it!_

He had to admit disappointment that they had come before he had a chance to display his prize for them. But he wasn't a pessimist by nature. After all, good things come to those who wait.

Olivia knocked lightly on the hospital room door with her foot, holding two steaming cups of coffee. She was surprised when the captain answered it after only a minute, dressed and looking surprisingly chipper.

"Good morning," she said, handing him one of the cups. "I didn't think you'd be awake this early."

He smiled, taking the offered beverage and sipping it with an appreciative sigh. "Thank you," he said. "And I'm not the only one who's up."

He opened the door wider to give her a view inside. Olivia's heart fluttered with happiness when she saw Elliot sitting up, looking groggy but content. He gave her a weak smile. "Hey," he said hoarsely.

She must have looked like an idiot with her ear-to-ear smile, but she couldn't have cared less. "Hey!" she said softly, her voice full of joy.

Cragen smiled as he stood by the door watching. Olivia had been a wreck for the past week, and it warmed his heart to see her happiness. She had finally gotten what she had been working so desperately for- her best friend.

The partner's were silent, their eyes locked on each other. Olivia hadn't moved. Much to her embarrassment, she could feel tears sliding down her cheeks. Don realized he would have to intrude on the moment, and cleared his throat.

"I'm going to go downstairs and see what they have for breakfast," he said. "I'll be back in a little while."

Olivia nodded absently, her gaze never leaving Elliot. Cragen chuckled lightly as he stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him, leaving them alone.

"You can come closer, you know," Elliot finally said, his voice raspy. "I won't bite."

Olivia shuffled next to his bed without speaking. Her eyes traveled slowly down to his upper body, uncovered now, and made their way back up, drinking in the sight of him. She stopped at his face and her eyes teared up as she looked into those gorgeous blue eyes that she thought she would never see again.

Without warning, she suddenly dove forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. Elliot was surprised, but welcomed the embrace readily. He nuzzled his face into her neck, needing the contact as much as she did, and closed his eyes as emotion came rushing up.

Olivia didn't move for several minutes. She listened to his every breath, felt for every heartbeat, and relished the warmth of his body that proved he was indeed there and alive. She managed to stop the sobs from coming, but the tears had a mind of their own. She finally got them under control and pulled away, immediately clasping his hand so as not to lose the contact.

When she pulled back, she saw that he too had tears on his cheeks. He swallowed, looking embarrassed, and ducked his head to break her eye contact. "You need a shower," he finally said with a chuckle, trying to lighten the air.

She laughed and wiped her eyes. "So do you," she said, smiling. God, she had missed his smile! An awkward silence fell; neither knew what to say about the situation. He didn't want to think about it, and she didn't want to make him think about it.

He stifled a yawn. "Sorry," he said, grinning tiredly.

She chuckled at his droopy look. Whatever the doctors had given him had obviously not worn out yet. "So are you busting me out of here?" he asked.

Olivia nodded. "Yep," she said. "Just let me sign you out, and we can go."

He sat up straighter. "You're leaving?" he asked, his voice oddly pitched. She looked at him in surprise that turned to concern quickly. All traces of a smile had fled from his face, and she could swear his eyes held sheer terror.

"No," she said, bewildered. "Well….I have to go sign you out at the nurses' station, but that will only take a second."

Elliot struggled to move his body, frustrated when it wouldn't obey. "Don't go," he pleaded. His voice was bubbling with tears. "Please….please don't leave me."

The terrified look on his face cut her to the quick. She hadn't expected this kind of reaction from him. When she saw a tear slip from the corner of his eye, she quickly hugged him. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I won't leave. Ok? I'll wait until the captain comes back."

She held onto him, her heart racing. Elliot had his face pressed into her neck tightly. Olivia was heartbroken, scared, and caught off guard all at once. _This could be bad,_ she thought in shock, as she gently cradled him. _This could really be bad._

Munch yawned as he walked into the precinct. A few officers were upstairs, but he was the only one in the bullpen. He went to the coffeepot and started a fresh brew, then went to his locker to retrieve his mail. He turned around, and when he looked up from the envelopes in his hands he came to a dead stop. Blinking in shock, he let the mail fall carelessly to the ground as he gawked at the scene in front of him.

The desk next to the one he and Fin shared was completely trashed. One chair was broken, and a computer had been shoved to the ground. Papers were shredded all over the place. Coming closer, John suddenly realized that Olivia's side wasn't touched aside from the papers all over it. He checked again to be positive. Nothing of hers was out of place.

When John came around the other side, he stopped short and the blood rushed from his face. A black-and-white photograph of Elliot was lying in the center of the mess, with a knife sticking into the middle. He found that he couldn't form coherent thoughts past the utter shock, and stood still numbly.

_This could be bad, _he thought finally. _This could really be bad._


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

**Author's Note: **This chapter mainly focuses on Olivia and Elliot, again **not** E/O. If you have access, I strongly recommend listening to the song "Ever the Same" by Rob Thomas before or as you read. It is an intensely sad and beautiful song, in my opinion, and the perfect backdrop to the relationship I am portraying between them, specifically Olivia's feelings.

"Alright, Miss Benson." The young blonde nurse smiled at Olivia and took the clipboard from her. "He's all set, whenever you're ready."

"Thank you," Olivia said. She turned around and walked back toward Elliot's room. "Ok, Elliot," she said, opening the door. "Are you-?"

Cragen shot up from the chair he was sitting in. "Shh," he warned quickly.

Surprised, she stopped talking. The captain pointed to the bed. Elliot was zonked out again. "The sedatives are still kicking," he whispered. She nodded as Dr. Adams and a nurse appeared at the door with a wheelchair.

Olivia went over to the bed and gently took his hand in hers. "Elliot," she said softly. "Wake up." She shook him softly.

"Hmm…." He mumbled and lolled his head to the other side of the pillow, facing her.

"Come on, Elliot," she continued. She began stroking his face. "You've got to wake up, sweetheart."

He growled sleepily as he slowly opened his eyes to look at her. She couldn't suppress a laugh at the sour look on his face. "Come on, sleepyhead," she teased. "You can take a nap in the car."

Dr. Adams came around to the other side of the bed. "Alright, Elliot," he said. "I'm going to raise the bed, and then we're going to lift you up." He looked over to Cragen. "Can you give me a hand?"

In a flash, Don was at his side. The doctor raised the bed, and Elliot braced himself, feeling completely useless. The two men each wrapped an arm around his back and supported his weight as they lifted him to a sitting position. He slowly put his feet to the floor and Olivia clutched his middle as he took the few shaky steps to the wheelchair.

"How…what-?" Fin couldn't even speak as he surveyed the damage to Elliot's desk. Munch had been trying to reach Cragen for ten minutes and was having no success.

A thought sprung to his mind, and Fin whirled around to face his partner. "Did you call the hospital?" he asked, preparing to pick up his phone. "Are you sure Elliot is-?" The look on John's face told him that he hadn't considered the thought. Fin got ready to dial and the phone in his hand suddenly rang.

"Hello?" he asked anxiously.

"Fin," Cragen said. "I got John's message. What's going on?"

Don watched Olivia's car drive out of the parking lot of the hospital and headed for his own car as he listened to Fin describe the recent events.

Olivia signaled for a left hand turn and pulled onto the highway. She glanced over at Elliot and saw him slumped against the side of the door, asleep. It concerned her to see how quickly and deeply he had gone to sleep, but she knew his body was trying to make up for the time it had lost while he was gone. She switched the radio off so as not to disturb him.

Elliot didn't know if he was awake or dreaming when Olivia pulled him gently from her car, but he remembered going up the steps to her apartment. The next thing he knew, he was on her couch and wonderful warmth was spreading over him as he drifted away to oblivion.

She tucked the blanket softly around his body and pulled it up to his neck, watching him fade into sleep. Dr. Adams had said that the medication would wear off later in the afternoon. Olivia sat beside him and couldn't resist bending down to kiss his cheek. After a minute, she got up and walked into the kitchen to fix herself something to eat.

Captain Cragen was more furious than the squad had ever seen him. He was standing rigid in front of the damaged desk with his hands balled into fists. Fin swore that if he listened hard enough he could hear a low growl.

Don had to force himself to bring air into his lungs as spots if red exploded in front of his lungs. He was so angry that he was shaking. How _dare _this asshole…He had kidnapped his best detective, traumatized him so severely that he was unrecognizable, and now had the nerve to come _back_ to fuck with their heads.

Now that Elliot was safe, the gloves were coming off. He didn't care how it got done or what the consequences would be….he was going to catch the bastard or die trying. Taking a deep breath through his nose, the captain looked at Munch with such intensity in his eyes that John flinched.

"When the others get here, put them back into teams," he said, his voice slow and deadly quiet. "One is going to camp out at the house in Buffalo…_permanently. _If he's dumb enough to come back home, we're going to nail his ass."

Slowly digging his nails from his palms, Don continued, "Another team is going to be barricading every possible exit route from the city. He isn't leaving New York alive."

If Cragen's emotions hadn't been so high charged, Munch might have pointed out to him that they couldn't do that without the mayor's permission. But he wasn't dumb enough to poke a stick in the hornet's nest, so he remained silent with his thoughts.

When he didn't speak again, Fin broke in. "You want each of us leading a team?"

The captain turned his eyes on him, the dark pupils seeming to burn a hole through him. "No," he said. He paused, and his eyes suddenly softened a little as he realized he was glaring. "No," he repeated, quieter. "You two are with me. We're going back to that sewer."

He spoke with such intense conviction that neither of them spoke a word in protest.

Olivia spent the day quietly cleaning up her apartment, needing something to occupy herself. She felt like a caged animal with all of her pent-up emotions. After organizing her closet, she checked the wall clock and saw it was 4:30. She debated cleaning the bathroom, but decided against it. She wasn't _that_ hard up for something to do.

She crossed through the living room and into the kitchen as quietly as she could. She filled a pot with water from the sink and set it on the stove, reaching for the tea bags that were in a jar on the counter. Turning around, she went opened a cabinet and reached up for a mug. Her fingers grazed the top of one and it slipped off of the shelf.

She dove to catch it, but wasn't quick enough. She winced at the loud crash as it bounced off of the counter top and smashed on the floor. _Damn it!_ Olivia held her breath, praying she hadn't woken Elliot up. A minute of silence passed and she started to relax.

"Olivia?" There was a note of panic in his voice as he called her name hesitantly.

So much for that. Abandoning the mess, she strode out into the living room. He was struggling to sit up, but couldn't get enough support without his arms for balance.

"Here; hold on, Elliot," she said, coming over to him. She put her arms around his middle and gently tugged him upright so that his back rested against the arm of the couch. He relaxed and sighed tiredly.

She smiled and tenderly smoothed a hand over his cheek. "Welcome back," she said, with a teasing note in her voice. "I was beginning to think you were going to sleep until next year."

"How long was I out?" he asked. She had to lean in to hear him because his voice was so soft.

"Pretty much all day," she answered. "It's about quarter to five in the evening."

The shrill whistle of the tea kettle startled them both, but she didn't expect him to jump as violently as he did. "Are you hungry?" she asked. "I had some soup earlier; I can make some more if you want."

The thought of putting anything in his mouth sent his heart racing and his stomach turning as he remembered the choking feeling of having his mouth taped shut. He couldn't stop the gag from escaping, and Olivia started with surprise, reflexively moving back thinking he would heave.

"You alright?" she asked with concern.

"I can't," he said weakly. He forced himself to take a deep breath to abort the feeling of wanting to puke. "I don't want to eat anything."

"Okay," she said, not able to mask her surprise at his reaction. Olivia placed a hand on his shoulder and rubbed gently. "Elliot, you don't have to. How about just some tea?"

He shook his head no quickly, and she had to bite back a sigh. The doctor had stressed to her the importance of getting him to eat normally as quickly as possible, but now was not the time to debate the matter.

The whistling got shriller and more annoying. Olivia jumped up and ran to turn it off, bringing the mug back with her into the living room. It was dark outside now, and only served to heighten the tension in the room. She took a seat in the armchair across the room and curled her legs up underneath her as she racked her brain, thinking of something to do or say.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" she asked finally, thinking of something that would preoccupy them both. Elliot looked at her silently, and she nearly broke down at the lost look on his face. _Come on, Elliot,_ she begged silently. _Come back to me._ He finally nodded. She set the mug down and went over to the entertainment system, flicking the power switch.

"What would you like?" she asked as the TV came on. She opened the cupboard door under the stereo and sat down cross-legged in front of it, turning around to face him. He didn't speak for a minute. "I don't care," he finally said, in the same unusual soft tone.

Olivia bit her lip and turned around. She was starting to think maybe this wouldn't work….a sudden flash of insight made her brighten. Leaning forward, she dug through the piles of DVD's and cassette tapes. _I know it's in here… _She grinned triumphantly when she found what she was looking for and pulled it out.

Scooting back around, she held up the DVD toward him. The small smile he was unable to suppress made her warm inside. She grinned happily and popped open the box containing _The Sandlot_ and opened the DVD player.

When Olivia had first become a detective, she wasn't given a choice when it came to her partner. The captain only had one available spot, and it was with a solid veteran who had just recently lost a partner. When she heard the word _veteran_, she couldn't stop her mind from picturing some middle-aged guy who wore boring suits and talked like Mr. Rodgers.

Cragen had opened the door and called him over, and she was shocked when she saw the man stride across the room. He looked about her age, and she immediately noticed his piercing blue eyes, which were gazing intently at her. Her female brain didn't miss the fact that he was also extremely good-looking and muscular. Her eyes traveled back to his face, and she blushed when she saw that he had caught her staring.

Elliot was nothing like what she was expecting. She found out during their first case that he had a friendly personality and was surprisingly easy to talk to. He also had a very goofy side to him that wasn't displayed in the squad room, and had her cracking up as they rode to their first scene.

Olivia didn't remember what the case was, but she did remember that she made a careless error on the report. When she gave it to him, he had looked it over and then looked back at her. "You're killin' me, Smalls!" he had said jokingly, taking the pen and correcting her mistake.

She had given him an amused look at the movie quote and quoted back, "You are an L-7 _weenie!_"

His shocked look had made her laugh out loud. "Wow," he said, laughing. "Here I thought I was the only person over 12 who liked _The Sandlot_."

She had thought he was kidding until they had gotten their first night off. She had been on her way out of the squad room and he had stopped her.

"My wife took the kids to see her sister this weekend," Elliot said, pulling his coat on. "Let's go do something; want to?"

"Well…" She didn't have any spare cash at the moment; her rent was sucking her dry. "I really can't afford…."

He forestalled her with one hand and reached into his back pocket. He drew out two tickets and handed them to her. When she saw what they were, she burst out laughing.

"7:30 showing of _The Sandlot_ down at the King's Theater," he declared, giving her a goofy smile. "Come on….you know you want to."

He gave her his most dazzling smile, and she found she couldn't resist. "Well…ok," she said, smiling. "Tell ya what…I'll buy you dinner."

He looked surprised. She grinned at him. "Original or Extra Crispy?" she asked, and he had burst out laughing.

The movie began, and she settled back in the chair. "Olivia?"

She turned to face him. "Yeah?" she answered.

Elliot was looking at her almost shyly. "Um…" he stammered, clearing his throat. "I…um…."

"What is it, Elliot?" she asked, becoming concerned. She sat up.

"Will you…" He looked at her timidly and tried again. "Would you mind…sitting here with me?"

She looked at him, surprised that he sounded so timid, and answered quickly. "Of course I will," she said, getting up. She went over to the couch and sat down next to him. "Do you want me to turn the lights off?"

The minute the words left her mouth, she felt her stomach drop. His blue eyes had turned panicked. She immediately leaned forward and cupped his cheek with her hand. "Elliot, I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I'm sorry. I won't turn them off."

He let out a deep breath and she felt him move close to her. She leaned back and let him rest his side against hers as they focused on the movie.

Halfway through, he fell asleep again. She felt him go limp and was shocked. After all the sleep he had gotten, she found it insane that he was still tired. _What the hell did the doctor give him!_ She gently lowered him down and covered him with the blanket, running a loving hand through his hair.

When the movie ended, she switched off the TV and the lights. Despite the early hour, Olivia was exhausted. She got up and Elliot unconsciously stretched out. "Good night, Elliot," she whispered softly, more to herself than him.

The lights went out in the small apartment, and the man ducked as the woman walked past the window. When she was out of sight, he straddled the fire escape again and picked up his field glasses.

His poncho flapped around him in the wind as he turned them on. Aiming them inside the room, his breath caught when he spied his prey. Elliot was sprawled on the couch in a deep sleep. The man licked his lips.

Olivia jumped out of her sleep with a gasp and bolted upright. Heart hammering, she looked around, her breath still coming rapidly. Nothing was out of place in the quiet room. She was unsure what had awakened her, and began to relax as she settled back against her pillow.

A second piercing scream erupted through the apartment, and she jumped again. Whipping around, she grabbed her Glock from the nightstand and leapt out of the bed. Her heart pounded as she flung open her bedroom door and ran through the hall, weapon in hand.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

Olivia sprinted through the hallway, her heart thudding in her ears, as his screams worsened. She bolted into the living room with her gun aimed, thinking Elliot was being hurt. Seeing him unharmed, she sagged with relief and dropped her gun.

He was twisting around on the couch, screaming and whimpering in terror. Olivia was momentarily frozen in horror at what she was seeing. When he cried out her name, she snapped out of it. Striding across the room, she flipped on the lamp and went to the couch. Leaning down, she gripped his shoulders, stilling his movements.

"Stop, please!" he screamed. "Get away from me!"

"Elliot," she said loudly. "Honey, wake up." She shook him a few times and he suddenly stilled. His eyes snapped open, wide with terror. Olivia leaned down quickly and pulled him up into a tight hug. He whimpered and pressed himself against her, tears pouring down his face. "It's ok, Elliot," she soothed, tenderly rubbing his back. "I've got you, baby."

It took a minute for him to stop trembling. "Don't go," he whispered tearfully. "Please stay here."

"Of course, honey," she said, running a hand through his hair. "I'll stay right here."

He relaxed at her words and drew back a little. She looked into his face. It streamed tears, and his eyes were terrified. Her heart ached. "Did you have a bad dream?" she asked softly.

He nodded, looking down. She took his hand in hers and rubbed his knuckles. "Do you want to tell me about it?" she continued gently.

Elliot shook his head and quickly pressed his face against her neck as the horrible images unwittingly flashed in his brain again. She heard him whimper, tears bubbling in his throat. "Shh…" she said softly, hugging him again. "It's alright. It's alright."

She stroked his hair and rocked him gently. He rested his face on her neck and sniffled sleepily. Olivia tenderly rubbed his back until he fell asleep again. Sighing softly, she leaned back against the cushions, absently keeping up the motion. At least one of them would be sleeping tonight.

Rain was pounding ruthlessly against the roof of the 1-6, but the atmosphere inside was so disciplined that no one even seemed to hear it. Cragen surveyed the large group before him. "Everyone knows what you're doing?" he asked one last time. Nods all around satisfied him. "Alright, then," he declared. "Let's do this."

It was barely 8 am, and traffic in Manhattan was not kind as the dozens of squad cars formed a caravan and left the precinct. Pedestrians stopped and gawked at the sight. One car turned on the flashing lights. Cragen snatched up his radio. "Hey, hey!" he barked. "Lose the siren, Cowboy."

"Sorry, sir," came the sheepish reply of the officer. Munch, sitting in the passenger seat, grinned. The captain shook his head and remained parked next to the curb, watching the cars split up in two directions. When they were out of sight, he turned toward Munch and met Fin's eyes in the backseat. "Well, they're ready," he said grimly. "Are we?"

Neither man gave him an answer, but he could almost read what they were thinking. _We haven't been ready since the first day. _Shifting the car into park, Don pulled away and headed for the highway.

Angry honks and curses filtered through the mob of cars sitting on the exit ramp, but the officers tuned them out. They waved cars to the side, stopping each station wagon and Fed-Ex truck.

An hour of silence later, Cragen pulled the Crown Victoria off of Interstate 6 and parked on the shoulder. The three men hopped out and stretched their legs. "Alright, you guys," Cragen said, yelling to be heard over the downpour. "This isn't the exact spot; we'll just have to search the woods for the cabin." Munch led the way as they trudged into the trees, wiping his wet glasses with one hand.

They picked their way through the damp forest for over an hour before they saw the crime scene tape ahead. New determination set in their features and they picked up the pace.

"Watch it," Cragen cautioned as they went down the cellar steps. The ground was slick with rainwater. Munch and Fin followed him warily through the narrow passageway. Coming back there conjured up every emotion that each man had been trying so hard to lock away from memory. The fear….the helplessness….the apprehension….every thought of when Elliot went missing came back to slap them in the face the further they went.

"This is it." Fin's soft voice stopped them, and they realized that a sewer was in front of them. He stooped down and lifted the lid. It creaked loudly with rust and age, and Cragen shined his flashlight down to estimate the distance to the ground.

"Looks about six, maybe eight feet down," he predicted, looking back at them. He looked at them squarely. "You guys up for that?"

They watched in surprise when Fin stooped and jumped down without a word. Munch looked at the captain in amusement. "Answers that question," he said, and they followed suit.

Olivia fell into an uncomfortable sleep around dawn and didn't budge for hours. The noise of the rain pounding the fire escape woke her at 10 am. Momentarily, she forgot where she was and stretched widely, jumping when her hand connected with something soft.

"Ow," Elliot mumbled sleepily, easing his eyes open.

Her mouth fell open in embarrassment. "Oh, shit," she groaned. "I'm sorry, Elliot." She reached down and stroked his cheek where she had accidentally clobbered him. Shifting herself out from under him, she got to her feet. Elliot leaned against the spot she had just vacated and yawned as he slowly started to wake up as well.

His eyes suddenly flew open wide when he heard her footsteps fading away. "Olivia!" He tried to sit up quickly and ended up falling against the cushion.

The panic in his voice made her stop and whip around halfway into the kitchen. "What's wrong?" she asked, concerned. He looked scared to death.

"Don't leave." His eyes took on a pleading look that sent shards of pain through her. "Please stay here."

She came back to the couch and sat next to him, wordlessly pulling him into a warm hug. She pulled away after a few minutes and stroked his face. "Elliot," she said gently. "I'm not going to leave you, sweetheart. I promise you; I would never leave you."

He looked at her silently, and she gently brushed away a tear threatening to escape from his eye. "I'm just going into the kitchen," she continued, using the soothing voice that she had perfected over the years from working with child victims. "You can see me from here. Ok? I'm not going anywhere."

He bit his lip as she gave his face one last stroke and kissed his cheek before getting up again. His eyes followed her as she went into the kitchen, but true to her word, she remained in his sight the entire time. He felt himself relax.

Olivia felt herself trembling as she started the coffeepot. She wondered what in God's name had happened to Elliot to make him too scared to even sit in a room by himself. Her stomach turned. _Do I even want to know?_

Fin had to fight the tears when he saw the leather straps on the wall. He hadn't seen much when he went down to rescue Elliot, and certainly wasn't expecting this. The straps looked to be about seven feet off the ground. His mind supplied him with an image of his friend with his arms hanging from the straps and his wrists being crushed by the rough leather. _No wonder he freaked out at the hospital,_ he thought bitterly, looking at the other two across the room.

Munch lost the battle. He broke down and cried silently, his shoulders shaking, and turned his flashlight away from the scene before him. Blood was splattered all over the walls and floor, with pieces of flesh and bone mixed in. He knew without asking that all of it belonged to Elliot. He was infuriated and heartbroken at the thought of the torture his friend had been subjected to. _This bastard went too far_, he growled silently. _He messed with the wrong guy this time._

"Guys," Cragen said, drawing the attention of the other two. He shined his flashlight beam and illuminated their figures. "I'm going back up. I'll look around to see if there's anything else we missed." They nodded. Don fingered the rope ladder and pulled it down, testing it's stability before climbing up. He took his flashlight back out of his pocket when he reached the top and shined it in front of him carefully.

A wall plastered with pieces of paper caught his attention, and he walked over to it. The flashlight illuminated newspaper clippings headlining "The Butcher", as well as gruesome photographs. Cragen was absolutely appalled- there were hundreds of them. Some looked very old. Leaning closer, he read one of the dates-January 12, 1977.

He continued down the wall, Cragen found himself looking at photos of Elliot. There were at least thirty of them. He studied each one. Some of them featured the other three detectives, but the focus of the cameraman always focused on Elliot. His jaw dropped suddenly when he recognized the inside of the precinct. _Dear God…he was at the station!_ The thought sent white hot anger through his nerves, but it was quickly replaced by shock at the next set of photos.

The man had been watching Elliot in his own home. The pictures seemed to be in sequence- just inside his apartment, closing the door, looking at mail, loosening his tie. He let out a surprised gasp when he saw the next few, and averted his eyes in shame. The man had photographed Elliot stripping and climbing into his bed. Don clenched his fists and forced himself to move away from the wall.

The other two came up to join him, and their reactions at seeing the wall matched his.

"You guys!"

Munch tore his eyes away, alerted by the panicked note in the captain's voice. Fin looked at him, surprised as well, and they both hurried over to him. He was standing in front of an old wooden desk, staring at a small paper hanging from one of the shelves.

"What is it?" Leaning closer, Munch saw that it was a Post-it note with the words ELLIOT STABLER written on it in bold letters. Underneath the words was an address.

Fin swore. "The bastard knows Elliot's address. He knows his god damn address!"

Cragen turned slowly to look at them, and the two men suddenly realized that he looked extremely pale.

"What's wrong?" Munch asked.

The captain had to fight to speak past the lump in his throat. "That's not Elliot's address," he croaked out.

He took a shuddering breath. "It's Olivia's."


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

Olivia came back into the living room with two mugs of coffee and set one down on the coffee table. Elliot looked at it warily, relieved when she didn't ask him to drink it. She sat back against the cushions and sipped the hot beverage slowly.

"It's pretty gross out today," she said. "What do you say we act like couch potatoes today?" She gave him an enticing smile.

He looked at her meekly. "Can we watch another movie?" he asked, hesitant.

She waggled her eyebrows. "You're speaking my language," she said.

Getting to her feet, she helped him off of the couch and over to the entertainment system. He flopped down and she started digging through the piles. "Just yell if you see anything you like," she said.

After about ten minutes, a small pile of DVD's was lying on the floor in front of them, waiting for a final selection. Her picks were _Charlie's Angels _(to which he adamantly said, "Next."), _A League of Their Own_ (she had dubbed it "their" movie since her first day on the job), _Runaway Bride_ (he only agreed to that one because he liked "Coach Bob"), and _Sleepless in Seattle._

His choices were _The Fast and The Furious (_She claimed he was feeding a childhood fantasy to be a race car driver, to which he replied with an indignant sniff), _The Exorcist (_"gotta love that crab walk scene", he said.),_ The Karate Kid (_"Nice choice, Grasshopper," Olivia joked.), _Frequency, _and of course, _The Sandlot_.

"God, Elliot," she laughed, when she saw his collection. "What are you, 14? I haven't seen _The Karate Kid_ since I was in 8th grade."

He looked at her with amusement. "Excuse me, Miss Tough-Girl Detective," he shot back. "Sleepless in Seattle? Quick, where's the tissue? I think I'm going to start crying just thinking about all the romance."

She shoved him playfully, careful not to hit his arms. "Okay, Mr. Movie Critic of the year," she said. "Which one do _you _want to watch?"

He wrinkled his nose in thought. "How about we compromise?" he said. "One of yours and then one of mine."

"Agreed," she said, immediately reaching in and retrieving _Sleepless in Seattle_ and grinning at his look.

"Oh, yeah?" he retorted. He reached in and pulled out _The Karate Kid_. She looked at him with disgust, and he grinned. "Wax on, wax off," he said with a laugh.

He let her watch hers first. "Wake me up when it's over," he joked, going back to the couch. She shoved him again and flopped next to him. The opening credits had just grazed the screen when the phone rang. "Damn it," she grumbled. "Doesn't that figure?"

Sighing, she got up and went to receive the cordless receiver. "Hello?"

"Olivia." The frantic voice of Captain Cragen came across the line. "Are you guys alright?"

She looked at the phone, puzzled. "Of course we are, Captain," she said. "Why?"

"We're on our way out to you," he said. "Listen to me, Olivia. The kidnapper has your address. He might be trying to get to Elliot again."

Spots appeared before her eyes. "What the hell are you talking about?" she asked incredulously, lowering her voice when Elliot looked at her. She turned her back and spoke softer. "How did he get out of the holding cell?"

Don shut his eyes, anticipating the reaction he would receive. "Well, um…" He grimaced and admitted, "He never got arrested. He escaped from the sewer after we rescued Elliot and no one's been able to find him."

He wasn't disappointed. Olivia clenched her teeth so tightly that they almost ground together. "Did you just find out about this?" she asked, trying to hold in her temper. She was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt before losing it.

His answer was sheepish. "Um….not exactly. I actually find out, um…the first day Elliot was in the hospital."

"WHAT?" she screeched. She clutched the phone tight in her hand. "Are the others with you?"

"Yes," he answered quietly.

She swore and hissed into the receiver. "So you thought it fit to inform the rest of the squad about something that could endanger Elliot's life, but keep it from me when I'm the one he's fucking _staying_ with?"

He flinched at her words. "Olivia-"

"For Christ's sake, Captain!" She interrupted him, her words venomous. "I thought we were supposed to be _helping _him get through this! Do you realize that you've put him in _more _danger? What if this guy had decided to come here last night? I wouldn't have had a fucking clue!" Her voice rose with each sentence until she was practically screaming at him.

"I didn't want to cause you any more worry," he said quickly. "And I certainly didn't want Elliot to find out. I was just looking out for you!"

"Sure you were," she spat out. The phone trembled in her hand. "Well, thank you _so_ much, Captain. It's good to know we're in such good hands!" He tried again to cut in, and she once again interrupted. "Don't come here," she growled. "I mean it. I don't want to see any of you right now."

She slammed the phone down into the receiver without waiting for his response.

"Olivia…" The dial tone registered and he sighed. "Damn it," he said.

She felt tears come to her eyes, but she jammed her fists into her eyes to stop them from escaping. She had never felt so angry and betrayed in her life. The thought of that man coming here and she not even realizing it made her sick to her stomach. He could have taken Elliot and she wouldn't even know it….she stifled a sob at the thought.

"Olivia?" Elliot had paused the movie, and sounded apprehensive as he craned his neck to see her.

She ran a shaky hand through her hair and stepped out into the living room. He looked at her in concern. "Who was that?" he asked. He could see that she was trying not to show that she was upset.

Olivia shook her head quickly. "No one," she lied. "Just a salesman."

He eyed her suspiciously when she sat down again. When he didn't turn the movie back on, she turned to look at him. He was looking at her intently, trying to gauge whether or not she was lying. She knew that look, and purposely avoided his eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked softly. "You sounded upset."

She took a deep breath and forced a smile. "Yeah," she breathed, chuckling to mask a sob. "You know I can't stand telemarketers." Olivia grabbed the remote from his hand and turned the movie back on. He was still suspicious, but didn't push the issue further.

Her thoughts were swirling as she stared blankly at the TV, not seeing the screen. Fear lodged itself in her chest at the thought of losing Elliot again. She bit her lip and shook her head, trying to dislodge the feeling.

She suddenly shifted closer to him. Elliot looked at her in question, and she bit her lip again to fight the emotions. "Come here," she said softly, stretching one arm behind him. He looked puzzled as he obeyed. She drew him in and hugged him to her, wrapping her arms around him and lightly kissing his forehead. He relaxed after a minute and continued watching the movie.

"What happened?" Munch asked, watching the captain slam the phone shut and toss it on the dashboard.

"She's pissed, that's what happened," he said, sighing. "She said she doesn't want to see us."

Fin looked at him. "But they're ok, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah," he said. "They're ok." Cragen sat in silence for a few moments, the others waiting to see what he would do. "We don't know how long he's had her address," he said finally. "He's waiting for something. If he wasn't, he would have gone after Elliot the day he escaped."

Darkness was descending as the man walked casually along the streets of Manhattan. His poncho was covered by a black trench coat, and his face hidden under its oversized hood. He walked along and whistled Bach, hands shoved in his pockets. No one even gave him a second glance as he approached the stairs to the subway.

The three men pulled into the precinct parking lot. Cragen sighed tiredly. "Go home, guys," he said.

"Olivia's going to kill you if she finds out about that security detail," Fin couldn't help pointing out.

Cragen sighed in annoyance. "I know that, Fin," he said.

How well he knew! They had spent the day arranging for a team of officers to covertly survey her apartment during the night. Some were inside the building posing as tenants, and others were in cars parked within direct view of her window and fire escape.

"She can yell at me all she wants after we catch this bastard," he declared. "He's going to try again. We just have to be on alert until he does."


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

For some reason, Olivia was exhausted that night as well. After watching the movies, the two of them had watched TV Land until all hours of the night. She wasn't kidding when she said she wanted to be a couch potato; and it also seemed to relax Elliot to focus on something else. A yawn ambushed her, and she checked her watch to find that it was 1:15 in the morning. Looking to her left, she saw Elliot out like a light. Turning off the TV, she tiptoed to her room.

The other two didn't know it, but Cragen himself was part of the security detail assigned to Olivia's apartment. He didn't like the idea of having two of his detectives sitting like fish in a barrel, being hunted by a psychotic serial killer, and damned if he wasn't going to be watching their backs himself. He couldn't prevent the horror that Elliot had been forced to endure when he was kidnapped….but he would do everything in his power to bring the bastard who did it to justice.

Olivia slept like a rock for hours until her bladder forced her awake. She was almost out of her door when she heard a noise behind her. Turning around, she shrieked in surprise when she saw a figure crouched next to the far wall.

Jumping out of her skin, she leapt back and reflexively hit the light switch. Elliot blinked in surprise from his position on the floor. She let out a huge breath and sagged against the bedroom door, trying to slow her racing heart. It took a minute for her to calm her nerves. When she did, she suddenly noticed that Elliot was hunched over, shaking.

Concern chased away the leftover adrenaline. "Elliot?" she asked, softly. She wrinkled her brow in alarm and went over to him. When she crouched in front of him, he ducked his head away. Reaching out, she took his chin and lifted his face to reveal red eyes and cheeks that were dripping with tears. His expression looked like a deer caught by headlights.

"I'm sorry," he burst out, his voice high-pitched with panic. "I was trying not to wake you up, Olivia….I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He dissolved into tears again, sobbing softly and bowing his head again.

She grimaced sadly, lifting his face again and stroking it gently. "What's the matter, baby?" she asked softly. She cupped his face with her other hand and moved up to run her fingers through his hair. "What happened?"

He was silent as he refused to look at her, his eyes averted in shame.

"Elliot." She spoke firmly and placed her hands on both sides of his face. He looked at her, his eyes panicked. Softening her voice, she smoothed his cheeks. "Tell me. What is it?"

He looked at her and shook his head. "I was scared," he whispered finally. "I just got scared."

Her heart broke at his choked voice, and she took both of his hands. Squeezing, she continued in a soothing voice. "What are you scared about?"

He looked at her with his eyes welling again. "I woke up and you weren't there," he whispered. "I called for you and you weren't there."

Her stomach plummeted at his words. _What the hell is the matter with me?_ she berated herself harshly. _How could I have let myself sleep so deeply when I know he has nightmares?_ She felt horrible. This was her fault.

"Oh, honey." Bringing her focus back, she scooted over and took him into a warm hug. "Shh," she cooed, stroking the back of his neck. "I'm so sorry, Elliot. God, I'm so sorry." She held him tight and rocked him back and forth until he calmed down.

Moving back, she took his hand and tugged him to his feet. "Come here," she said. Keeping hold of his hand, she went back to her bed and untucked the covers on the side she wasn't using. Climbing up, she pulled him with her and moved over. He burrowed against her side immediately. Olivia wrapped the blankets around him and he stretched out. She smoothed his hair with one hand as she turned the light off.

"You're safe here, sweetheart," she said softly. "I won't let anything happen to you. I promise." Her inner thoughts were angrily cursing the bastard he was so afraid of, and daring him to come into her home. _I'll blow his fucking brains out, _she thought bitterly. _I'll do it twice and smile. _She felt Elliot snuggle tighter against her, and wrapped her arms around him as they both drifted into sleep.

The shrill ringing of the phone next to her head startled her awake. Elliot was snoring softly, his dead weight pinning her against the pillow. She wriggled one arm free and reached for the phone.

"Hello?" she said softly.

"Is this Olivia Benson?" asked a voice.

She stretched as she said, "Yes, it is."

"This is Doctor Jacob Adams, from Mercy General," the speaker said. She suddenly recognized his voice.

"Doctor Adams," she greeted. "Good morning."

"Good morning," he repeated with an amused tone. "I just wanted to remind you that Elliot is scheduled to begin his physical therapy today, in case you may have forgotten."

Her eyes flew open. She had completely forgotten. "Oh…of course I didn't forget," she said haughtily. She paused a minute. "Um….what time?"

The doctor chuckled. "12:30," he answered, smiling. "Fourth floor, Dr. Stevenson."

"Thanks," she said sheepishly.

"You're welcome," came the amused reply. "Good day."

She dropped the phone back on the night table and attempted to wriggle out from under him. When that failed, Olivia twisted her body left and right, also producing nothing.

"This is _not_ working," she said aloud, in a huff. Bending down, she proceeded to shake her partner roughly. "Elliot," she said, catching sight of the clock. It made her panic, and she shook him harder. "Damn it; it's 11:00!" she cried. "Get up!"

He groaned and slid off of her. "Alright, alright," he grumbled. "Geez, I can hear you, ya know!"

She smiled, but it quickly faded. He was a mess. His face was splotchy and his eyes were puffy. He looked exhausted.

"You have an appointment with the physical therapist today at 12:30," she told him. "We have to hurry up." She slid off of the warm bed reluctantly. "What the hell happened to my alarm clock?" She had it programmed to go off every morning at 6 am. It was a pain on her days off, but at least it insured that she would wake up in time for work.

They both took showers, and Olivia microwaved some instant oatmeal. It wasn't her first choice for breakfast, but they were in a time crunch. He still refused to eat anything, which worried her because she could clearly hear his stomach growling. They had about a half hour to get to the appointment on time, so she didn't press him.

The powerful field glasses followed the moves of Elliot and Olivia as they came out of the apartment building and went to her car. The man squinted in the early afternoon sun, his lips curling into a smile as he watched them drive off. Hopping down from the skylight he was perched on, he walked across the street and into the alley next to her building.

He lifted the glasses to his face again and aimed them to the right. In the distance, he saw the squad car parked. He started giggling wildly. He had been watching them all night from the safety of the sewer in the middle of the street. The idiots had scanned the entire area looking for him and hadn't even seen that he was right under their noses!

Still chuckling, he scaled the fire escape on the opposite side of the building from where they were. Whistling, he cruised under each window until he found one with a crack. He wriggled his fingers into the tight space and pushed the window up, jumping inside the empty apartment and closing it again. He strode through the dark apartment and let himself out the door, reaching into his pocket for the piece of paper with her floor and apartment number on it. Grinning, he headed for the stairwell to the fourth floor.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

**Author's Note: **I apologize for any confusion this may be causing. I get caught up writing the emotional scenes and it's hard to remember my storyline! I haven't focused a lot on it yet, but Elliot's arms **are** paralyzed because of the injuries. I know it seems like they are ok in the last few chapters and once again…what can I say except I am only human? The emotions take precedence in some of my chapters, so just take it for what it is. I will try to make it a little clearer. My eyes hurt now…..do you _really_ want another chapter? 

Elliot sucked in a gasp as the doctor extended his right arm slowly. He hadn't felt anything but heavy weight in place of his arms for the past several days, so the blinding pain that he was suddenly feeling was a rude awakening.

Olivia was watching the doctor intently, and jumped when he hissed loudly. Her eyes flew to his face, which was screwed up in discomfort.

Dr. Paul Stevenson also heard the noise, and looked to the detective. "Tell me what you're feeling," he urged, keeping the limb straight out.

"Ahh…." Elliot squirmed involuntarily, trying to get the doctor to let go. "Tingling," he said through clenched teeth. "God…that hurts like a bitch."

Olivia watched the doctor's face set in determination. "Your circulation is starting to come back," he said. "That's a good sign."

He moved one of his hands to lightly grip Elliot's elbow, and put the other on his wrist. Elliot's eyes were glued to his arm as the doctor slowly forced the limb to bend toward his head.

Elliot yelped loudly as searing shards of fiery pain traveled all the way up his arm. Olivia jumped again, her face paling. Tears of pain sprang to his eyes before he could stop them.

The doctor looked at him sympathetically. "Alright, relax, Elliot," he said. He supported the limb as he carefully stretched it out again and brought it down to rest limply at his side. "That's enough strain on this arm for today," he said. "Take a break. I'll be right back"

He breathed a sigh of relief when the doctor left the room, closing the door behind him. "I hate this," he said bitterly. "I don't even remember what it feels like to stretch."

Olivia watched him angrily glare at the floor. She wanted to tell him something to make him feel better about his situation, but couldn't find the words.

Don jerked upright at the squawk of his radio. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and quickly reached for it. "Go ahead," he said, hoping his voice wouldn't give away the fact that he was tired as hell.

"Everything looks secure inside, Captain," came the voice of one officer inside the building. "No one has been inside that doesn't live here."

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. The sudden desire to just go home was overwhelming, and his brain taunted him that he was an idiot to be sitting here at all.

"All right," he said in defeat. "Look, you guys have been there all night. Go home and get some sleep; I can handle things for a while."

"Yes, sir," the officer immediately replied, sounding relieved. Cragen sighed again and replaced the mike. His butt was numb and he was incredibly pissed. He wasn't used to sitting around waiting to do his job, and he didn't like it one bit.

The two of them walked out of the hospital an hour later. Elliot collapsed into the passenger seat wearily. The physical therapy had been very light, but it was incredibly exhausting to try and move a part of your body that refused to respond. He was so drained that he could hardly move.

Olivia was still quite shaken from watching the session. Just the simple act of having his arms extended had made him almost pass out from pain. The wounds on his arms were still quite raw, and it had made her sick to see them. He had been covering them up the whole time he was with her, and was not happy when the doctor instructed him to remove his shirt during the session. It had to be done so that Dr. Stevenson could tell if any muscles were stimulated by the exercise, but it still was too much to bear.

She came up behind him and fastened his seatbelt for him, something she was still having difficulty coming to terms with having to do. He was humiliated, she knew that, and tried to do it quickly. Coming around the car, she got in herself and started the ignition. Elliot was sagged against the seat, too spent to even lift his head.

The ride back to her apartment was quiet. She could tell he was exhausted because he started snoring. As they passed the courthouse, Olivia was bombarded with memories. Has it really only been two weeks since the day they had been clowning around after the trial? It seemed like half a lifetime ago now. It saddened her to the very core, and made her shake with rage at the same time. One man had single-handedly torn away every shred of Elliot's spirit and soul, leaving her with nothing but an empty shell.

Fin was lying on his couch, staring at the ceiling. He hadn't gotten any sleep and had no desire to even move. The discoveries made the previous day had been eating away at him, tormenting him mercilessly. His mind kept conjuring up the memory of the day they had received the telephone call from his kidnapper. He could remember every painful detail with excruciating clarity.

"_It's so dark." _ When he had heard Elliot sobbing, he'd had to make an effort not to lose his breath. He had been so horrified that he didn't even hear the words that Olivia was trying to reassure him with, but he did hear the anguish in her voice.

Elliot Stabler had more self-confidence and humility than anyone he had ever met. To hear him begging….**pleading** them to rescue him… _"Please come get me, Olivia...please!" _ His throat closed and he had to fight a gag. Sitting up quickly, he shook his head to clear the angry buzzing that had invaded.

"_Please…I'm scared." _Why had they let the bastard escape? Why didn't he kill the man the minute he had gone into that sewer? What did Elliot ever do to deserve this happening to him?

"_I'm scared." _ Tears built up and came crashing out. Fin covered his face with his hands, the words echoing over and over in his head until he thought he would go crazy.

Munch was hunched over his third cup of coffee at his desk. None of the other officers could understand why he felt the need to be at the station 24/7. The whole situation with Elliot had been out of their hands from the beginning, and being at work was the only way he felt like he could get some of that control back.

Fin had gone home the night before and hadn't yet returned. Cragen had disappeared after dropping them off at the precinct. Olivia hadn't called any of them since taking Elliot home with her two days ago. John was in inner turmoil. They had knit together so tightly while searching for Elliot….but now that he was back it seemed like the team had busted at the seams.

_What are we doing here?_ John squinted and took his glasses off, rubbing tiredly at the bridge of his nose. _Giving ourselves a sense of accomplishment? We found Elliot…congratulations to us. Forget about the fact that we may have very well lost ¼ of our squad. _

He felt so horrible, and wanted more than anything to be there to help Elliot through his trauma. Munch hadn't worked personally with him many times, maybe three in the past two years. But Elliot knew that John was his friend….right? He had to know how much he cared about him. _I've never said that to any of them, _he suddenly realized. He had been so busy keeping up the "seen-it-all" façade that he had missed out on the relationships that could be built.

He and Fin were pretty tight as partners, despite their daily banters. Cragen treated him like an equal because he had been in the department for as long as Munch himself had. He was friendly with Olivia and had no problem talking to her or going out for an occasional drink. But…where did Elliot fit into the equation?

They were acquaintances, yes, but they had never gotten together outside of work. Elliot was always friendly and sociable to him, but it seemed more like it was out of courtesy. Most of the men were close to the others in the squad because they had more in common.

That was true about everyone except Elliot. He was the only one in the precinct who had such a strong bond with a member of the opposite sex that he wasn't dating or related to, and vice-versa for Olivia. She seemed to be…well….the _only_ one he had such a strong bond with.

True, she was his partner and therefore was with him a lot more than anyone else, but they all saw the same things on the job. The fact was that John had never made an effort to get to know Elliot as more than just a casual friend. He felt heaviness in his heart, and resolved to change that. He had taken the other man for granted, and fervently hoped for the chance to make it up to him.

The elevator doors opened, and the pair stepped off and walked toward Olivia's door. She unlocked the door and swung it open, stepping back to allow Elliot to enter first. He flopped down at the breakfast bar and rested his head on his arms.

She smirked. "Hey," she teased. "I have to eat on that, you know."

He growled sleepily, and she laughed. She rested her hand briefly on his back as she passed him and went to put her jacket away. He stumbled off of the bar stool and headed for the living room, wanting nothing more than to sink into the soft cushions.

She wrinkled her nose when she opened the door to the hall closet. She was usually good about keeping her apartment tidy, but the past few months had been so busy that she hadn't taken the time. Every time she had clutter in her living room, she would toss it into the hall closet and forget about it. Now she stared in disgust at the pile of clothing and god-only-knew what else heaped on the ground. She shook her head and hung up her jacket, vowing to tackle it soon in the near future.

"Olivia!"

The terror in his voice and the force at which he said her name made her whip her head around fast. Sliding out of the closet, she dashed through the kitchen to where he stood stock-still in the entrance of the living room.

"What?" she asked, in a panic. "What is it?"

She could see him shaking violently when she came up behind him. He couldn't even form any words past the utter fear that was assaulting his senses.

Olivia brushed past him and then stopped as well. "My God…" she whispered, her features twisting in shock and horror.

The living room had been ransacked. Her couch was flipped over and the pillows shredded. Pictures and knickknacks were strewn everywhere. Her entertainment system was hanging open with DVD's tossed from the cabinets.

But the mess didn't even register in her mind. A photograph of Elliot asleep on her couch had been blown up and nailed next to the entertainment center. She recognized the clothes he had worn to bed the first night he had stayed with her.

She was at a loss for words and blinked in utter amazement, unable to move. For the past few days, Olivia had been angrily daring this guy to show up so that she could stomp the shit out of him.

But as she continued staring numbly at the scene before her, she realized that getting what she wanted suddenly wasn't so appealing anymore.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in posting…midterms this week. So what gives? I'm not done yet; don't give up on the reviews guys! They're like manna from heaven!**

Panicked whimpers quickly turned to terrified screams that bounced off of the quiet bedroom walls. Olivia's eyes snapped open. She quickly turned over and sat up.

"No, no!" he cried, his face contorted in fear. Tears choked his voice. "Liv…somebody, please!"

She pushed the blankets off of Elliot so that she could reach him and slid over. He awoke as soon as she pulled him into her arms. She hugged him tight against her, one hand sliding up and down the back of his neck. He wailed something she couldn't understand, choking on his own sobs.

"It's ok, sweetheart," she said soothingly. "You're alright." He dropped his face onto her neck. He shook so hard that Olivia could hardly hold onto him. "You're alright."

She sat up holding him and whispering soothing assurances for a good ten minutes. As he drifted back to sleep, her eyes wandered over his shoulder to see that the clock on her nightstand read 3:13 am.

It had been two days since the nasty discovery in her apartment. Any feelings of safety he may have been feeling went right out the window that day. Olivia found after a few trial and error sessions that he would only sleep if he was next to her in her bed and curled up against her so that he could feel her presence.

He usually had one or two nightmares every night, but after that day they progressed into an almost hourly occurrence. Each one was more terrifying than the last, leaving him screaming and most times crying. It broke her heart, and Olivia found herself unable to sleep at night because she was tensely waiting for the next nightmare to assault him. She wanted to save him from the horrible hell he was trapped in when he dreamed as fast as she could.

He snuggled against her with a sigh, tears still dripping down his now-relaxed face. She grimaced sadly and gently wiped them away with her fingers.

She wasn't aware that she had dozed off, but she woke up several hours later to sunlight shining through the bedroom blinds. Her entire left side felt numb. She looked over to see Elliot sprawled across her, his head almost knocking hers off of the pillow.

Her arms and shoulders cracked loudly when she shifted, and she winced in disgust. Elliot flinched involuntarily at the noise but didn't move. Olivia gently began moving him off of her. He murmured incoherently, but didn't wake up.

Finally able to move, she slipped out of bed. Elliot was lying in what looked like a very uncomfortable position, his legs bent sideways. Leaning back over the bed, she gently straightened him out and moved another pillow behind his head before moving the rest of the blankets to cover him.

He murmured again, grimacing. She smoothed the blankets around him and tenderly ran her hand down the side of his face. He let out a soft snore, and she laughed softly. Once she was satisfied that he was sleeping peacefully, she crept out of the room toward the shower.

A night's sleep had done wonders, and Captain Cragen sat in the squad car with new determination. _Come on, you scum,_ he thought, scanning the area. _Make my day._ His cell phone rang, and he picked it up as he continued searching. "Cragen."

Olivia bit her lip as she heard him pick up. "Hi, Cap."

He was shocked to hear her voice. She hadn't been kidding when she had said that she didn't want to see them; none of them had heard from her in almost three days.

"Olivia," he said. She heard his surprise. "Listen, I want to apologize-"

"No, sir," she cut him off. He was silent, and she sighed before admitting, "I'm the one who should be apologizing. I was out of line to say what I did…thank you for watching out for us. I appreciate it more than you know."

He felt a weight ease from his chest. "It's good to hear you say that," he said. "I hated having you mad at me."

She nodded, even though she knew he couldn't see it. "Listen," she said hesitantly. "Can you come up? There's something I need to talk to you about."

"Sure, I'll be right up," he said. He suddenly froze when her words registered. _She said come "up"...not "over". _

He heard her laughing when he went silent. "Sorry, sir," she said, amused. "I'm afraid you're busted. I saw you out there yesterday morning."

He laughed sheepishly, his face turning crimson. _I wonder if she knows about the undercover officers inside…_

Don was saying something to her, but the only thing Olivia heard was the sound of Elliot calling her name frantically from the bedroom.

"Hold on, sir." He was surprised when she cut him off, her voice oddly pitched. He heard her footsteps rapidly moving. The sound of Elliot's panicked voice sounded over the line, and more footsteps. He heard her speaking soothingly for a minute, and there was silence before she came back.

"You still there, Captain?" Olivia asked, tucking the phone on her shoulder. She sat on the bed, her hand traveling over Elliot's forehead and around to his neck repeatedly. He had freaked out when he woke up and she wasn't in bed with him, but relaxed the minute she came back into the room.

"Yeah, still here," he answered. "I'll be up in about five minutes."

"Thanks; see you then," she said, hanging up.

Don took the elevator to the fourth floor and walked to her door. He knocked lightly and stepped back. Chains rattled and locks turned, and then she was standing in front of him. "Come in," she said, standing to the side.

She was puzzled to see his slightly uncomfortable look; then she remembered that she was in her pajamas and blushed. He stepped inside and she shut the door behind him. "Would you like some coffee?" she asked.

"Sure," he answered, following her through the kitchen. Elliot was sitting at her breakfast bar, and Don smiled warmly when he saw him.

Elliot was surprised when his captain stepped around the bar and grabbed him into a hug. "How are you doing, son?" he asked, stepping back. Olivia paused while pouring the coffee, wondering how he would answer.

"Fine," Elliot answered softly, summoning up a small smile.

Olivia handed Cragen a mug and gestured for him to sit. He thought it was odd that she only had a mug for herself, but didn't comment. "So what did you need to talk about?"

He didn't miss when her hand stiffened around the mug handle, and she started unconsciously chewing her lower lip. "How long have you been watching my house?"

_Oh, lord_…Had she called him up here to chew him out again? "Look, Olivia," he said. "I told you I was sorry. I'm only doing it because-"

"No, Captain," she broke in. He stopped and looked at her in surprise. "It's not that….how **long** have you been out there? How many days?"

He paused, thinking about it. "I put a team together the night I called you to tell you…" He stopped mid-sentence, suddenly remembering that Elliot was in the room with them and didn't know that the man had escaped. His eyes flew to hers.

She nodded at him, understanding what he was saying. "So I guess….about three days," he finished. "Why?"

Her gaze met Elliot's before she turned her focus back to him. He could see the worry shining clear in her eyes. "He's been here."

Cragen almost spit out his coffee. "What?" he said, horrified. "My God….when? Are you guys alright?"

"We weren't here." Elliot's quiet voice surprised them both. He looked at Cragen steadily as he spoke, and Don was frightened to see the hollowness in his usually sparkling eyes. "He broke in while we were at the hospital for physical therapy and trashed the living room."

Cragen looked at Olivia in alarm, sensing her thoughts. _He could be anywhere…_

"I thought he got arrested." Cragen heard a quiver in his voice. Olivia was becoming uneasy; she didn't like the look on her partner's face.

A flood of guilt swept over the captain. "I'm so sorry, Elliot," he said, his eyes tearing. His voice choked and he had to clear it before he could continue. "It's my fault. I didn't-"

"It's not your fault, Captain," Olivia cut in. "You were worried about Elliot. We all were." She sighed. "It's my fault for letting my guard down; I should have been more alert."

Cragen looked at her in surprise. "No, Liv," he said. "It's not your fault! You were doing everyth-"

"STOP!"

They both jumped in surprise at Elliot's outburst and turned to look at him, stunned. Elliot was trembling and clenching his fists, his breath raspy.

"Just stop it," he said, in a choked voice. "Alright?" He felt tears spring to his eyes, but furiously swiped at them. "I'm the jackass who let myself get kidnapped, remember! I'm the one who made you guys kill yourselves over finding this guy….I'm the one who let the bastard take advantage of me!"

His tears had spilled out and were dripping down his cheeks, but he ignored them. His voice rose until he was shouting. "If I was a better cop this never would have even happened! It's my fault!"

Olivia and Cragen watched as he flung himself out of the chair and took off down the hallway. The sound of her bedroom door slamming registered a minute later, releasing them from their shocked stupor.

Olivia started to rise, but Don stopped her with a hand on her arm. "Don't, Olivia," he said softly.

His gut was twisting in knots as he stared at the chair that Elliot had shoved away from the table, and his thoughts were in turmoil. Cragen was finally seeing what Olivia had been so afraid of.

Elliot's entire personality had been flipped and scrambled by the acts of that brutal monster until he was unrecognizable. Don realized that even if they did catch the guy, the detective he knew before may never come back- and that thought scared him almost as much as when Elliot had gone missing in the first place.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

Cragen stood up, and Olivia followed suit.

"Let me talk to him?" he asked hesitantly.

She nodded. "Sure," she said. She took the mugs to the sink and rinsed them out as he walked toward the hallway.

He took his time, needing to compose his thoughts. The sight of Elliot had stabbed him in the gut. He had made sure to keep up a professional appearance in front of the squad, burying his emotions deep inside. Now, as he stopped outside of Olivia's bedroom door, they came bubbling up. Taking a deep breath, he knocked softly.

Silence.

"Elliot?" he called. He knocked again, pressing his ear against the door. "It's Captain Cragen. Can I come in?"

No answer. Taking a chance, he gripped the door handle and slowly turned it. "Elliot?" he asked, coming just inside the door.

His heart twisted painfully at the sight before him. Elliot was sitting on Olivia's bed, facing the window. He was hunched far over, sobbing so hard that his body heaved.

"Go away, Captain," he said quietly, his voice full of anguish. "Please….just go away."

Don shut the door behind him and approached the bed. He stepped around to stand in front of him. Elliot kept his face averted.

"Elliot," he said.

The tenderness in his voice was unexpected. Elliot raised his head slowly to meet his captain's eyes. The older man was fighting tears. They stared at each other silently for a minute. Elliot's chin quivered, and he suddenly broke down again.

Don leaned forward and wrapped his big arms around him, sitting down on the bed. Elliot went limp in his embrace and sobbed hard, gasping in breaths. It broke the captain's heart. "What happened to you isn't your fault, Elliot," he said softly. "It isn't your fault at all."

He couldn't respond past the torrent of anguished sobs. "You have to believe me," Don said, his voice choking desperately. "No one blames you, buddy."

Elliot gasped in a breath between sobs, his voice full of pain. "I wish he had killed me," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. "I just want to be dead." He crumbled, whimpering hysterically, and dropped his face into the captain's shirt.

Cragen ran his hand through Elliot's hair in a fatherly fashion as he wept in anguish. His own tears fell, but he ignored them. He hugged him in a death grip and rubbed his back gently.

"It's going to be alright," he said quietly. "We'll get through this, Elliot. I promise you."

Olivia stood outside the door, crying silently. She had heard every word, and it shocked her to the very core.

The beeper going off in Cragen's pocket brought him back to why he was there in the first place. He reluctantly let go of Elliot and reached for it, knowing it was the other officers outside, wondering where he was.

Olivia jumped when the bedroom door opened and Cragen almost plowed into her. He jumped as well, stepping back quickly. Elliot appeared behind him. There was an awkward silence, and she moved aside to let them pass before following them down the hallway.

"I've gotta get back down there," the captain said. "You guys take care of yourselves. I'll come back after my relief shows up tonight, ok?" He looked to Olivia for permission.

She nodded. "Sure," she agreed.

He nodded and opened the door. Elliot suddenly shot forward. "Captain?" he said quickly.

Cragen paused in surprise and looked at him in question.

"Thanks," he said quietly, his face momentarily softening.

Don's face split into a smile as he answered, "Anytime."

Olivia looked at the clock as the door shut. "You have another appointment with Dr. Stevenson in about two hours."

A pained look crossed his face, and she couldn't help but laugh. He looked like a kid on the way to the dentist.

"Come on; it won't be that bad," she said lightly, trying to lighten the air. "If you be a good boy, I'll give you a cookie when it's over."

She was overjoyed to see a sparkle of amusement dance in his eyes. It was faint, but there nonetheless.

Elliot pouted playfully and stuck out his lower lip. "Oatmeal raisin," he grumbled. "And I want two."

"Come on, you baby," she said, still laughing. "Let's get you into the shower."

Through the peephole of the empty apartment he was in, the man had a clear view of Olivia's apartment. He watched the door open and Olivia step out. Elliot appeared behind her. His breathing became heavy when he saw his prey again. Licking his lips, he continued to watch as she shut the door and locked it. They walked toward the elevator and got inside, leaving the hallway deserted.

Stepping out of the apartment, he shut the door behind him and crossed to Olivia's across the hall. He took a small screwdriver out of his pocket and bent on one knee as he slid it into the first lock.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

Olivia was finding it hard to stay silent. Elliot's painful groans were heartbreaking. Sweat was beading on his face as he fought to keep his arm straight in the doctor's grip.

"Come on, Elliot," Dr. Stevenson urged. "You're doing great. Keep going….you can do it."

He let out a frustrated growl. Olivia could see the determination on his face through the signs of strain, and it brought hope into her heart.

"You can do it, Elliot," she encouraged anxiously. "That's it…come on, you got it!" Her eyes had grown wide with anticipation. He whimpered quietly, trying not to give in to the horrible pain.

Both Olivia and the doctor had their eyes glued to Elliot's outstretched hand. After what seemed like an eternity….his index finger wiggled.

"Yes!" Olivia cried, unable to control her excitement.

The doctor immediately lowered his arm, and Elliot collapsed against the wall, breathing hard. _Good God,_ he thought. He felt like he had just run a 5K. His heart was racing and he couldn't catch his breath.

"Great job!" the doctor said brightly. He also wore a huge smile. "That was excellent! It'll get easier now. Just you wait….you'll be using those arms again before you know it."

_Get real, _Elliot thought darkly._ It took me two weeks just to raise my damn finger!_

He hated this. It was humiliating, having to learn how to use his arms again like some two-year old. The strain on his body was horrendous. Just the simple act of moving one finger had him so exhausted that he felt like a puddle of goo. It was depressing, really.

He bitterly realized that he couldn't even remember the last time that he had done something as simple as twisting off a soda bottle cap. _My hands were tied up for a week straight…my arms were slashed…now I can't even flex my fingers. _

Olivia watched as a dark look crossed her partner's face and his eyebrows furrowed. She knew he was angry at his situation, and wanted more than anything to raise his spirits. But she didn't know how. She just didn't know how.

"Alright, let's make it an early day," Dr. Stevenson said. "You've earned it. Great job, Detective." He clapped Elliot lightly on the shoulder.

Elliot gave him a weak smile, but all he could think about was how he couldn't feel the doctor's hand.

Olivia stepped out of the room while the doctor talked to Elliot about his next appointment, and he felt the surge of panic that had become a familiar feeling. He tried not to show it, forcing himself to concentrate on the doctor's words and keep his breathing steady.

He was relieved when she came back a minute later. She had a glint in her eyes that he recognized-it meant she was up to something.

Once they were back in her car, Olivia reached into her purse before starting the ignition. Elliot had his eyes shut wearily, but he could hear the sound of paper rustling and it perked his attention.

She set a small paper bag on his lap, and he couldn't stop the laugh that came out as he looked at the two oatmeal raisin cookies.

John slowed his car to a stop on the shoulder of Interstate 6. He turned the ignition off and sat still, inhaling deeply. Cragen wouldn't be happy if he found out about his little trek back here, but it was the only thing he could think to do. He felt so damn helpless, and he hated the feeling.

He stepped out and locked the car behind him. For a moment, he just stood motionless, his eyes taking in the vast woods before him. How many times had he driven down this lonely interstate in the course of his career? It would never be the same again….ever. Just the sight of the woods, any woods, made him sick to his stomach now.

Forcing himself to take a breath, John squared his shoulders and took a step forward.

Elliot was asleep before Olivia even started the ignition. She let the car idle so that it could warm up a little, and turned to face him. He was curled up as much as space would allow and had his face turned out toward her, his expression one of exhaustion. He looked so vulnerable right now that it brought tears to her eyes.

Olivia sighed quietly and reached out, gently tracing her fingers over his hairline. She could hardly recognize her partner anymore. Gone was the energetic, charismatic man she knew and loved; a remote, quiet stranger had taken his place. Each day, the gulf between the two personalities widened.

Her cell phone rang, making her jump. She reached for it and turned away from him. "Benson," she answered quietly.

"Hey, Olivia." She was surprised to hear Fin's voice.

"Fin. Hi."

Fin sighed as he tapped the desk in front of him nervously. Why did he feel so apprehensive? This was Olivia Benson, his friend. She would understand his feelings…right?

Olivia listened to him breathe on the other end for a minute. "You alright?" she finally asked, confused.

"Yeah….yeah," he stammered. "Um….look, I know that you're probably still mad at us and everything…but I just-"

_Shit!_ Olivia had completely forgotten about the other two. She had apologized to the captain without even thinking of them. Her face flushed with shame. "No, Fin," she cut in quickly. "God, I am so sorry…I'm not mad. Everything's ok."

He was stunned momentarily. "Really?" he couldn't help but ask. He had been bracing himself for her wrath.

She chuckled at his tone. "Really," she confirmed. "I'm sorry that I haven't gotten up with you guys. It's just been…" She trailed off, unsure of what to say about the situation. Luckily, he understood and saved her.

"Don't worry about it," he said, relieved. He paused a minute. "So….how is he?"

She unconsciously chewed her lip. "Well...about how you'd expect right now, Fin. Not very well."

He grimaced. "Oh," he said awkwardly. His heart started to pound, and he cursed his own nervousness. Why couldn't he just ask her?

He was silent so long that she wondered if he'd hung up. "Fin?" she prompted.

"Yeah," he said quickly. He sighed. "Liv…I'm just going to say it. Would it be alright if…" She heard him take a breath. "Could I come see Elliot? I've been really worried about him…please, can I just see him?"

The meekness in his voice surprised her, and she felt a surge of guilt. She hadn't given much thought to how much the others had been affected by all of this. "Of course you can," she answered quickly. "I'm sure he'd be happy to see you."

He let out a huge breath, and she couldn't help but laugh softly. "We're actually on our way back from the hospital," she said. "I'll give you a call when we get home, ok?"

A smile graced his rugged face. "Great," he said. "Thanks, Olivia."

He could hear somebody saying his name. Elliot's heart quickened suddenly and his breath caught when he heard the raspy voice that he was terrifyingly familiar. "Elliot…" the man rasped. "Elliot…."

Olivia watched his facial features change from relaxed to panic in a matter of seconds. She quickly cupped his face. "Elliot," she called once more. "Wake up."

His eyes flew open, and his breathing slowed when he realized that it had been Olivia saying his name all along. She let go of his face and looked at him worriedly. "You alright?" she asked.

He looked around quickly and saw that they were parked in front of her apartment building. Shaking his head to clear the cobwebs, he answered groggily, "Yeah, yeah…fine."

She looked at him in disbelief, but didn't say anything else.

The sound of his footsteps was amplified as John walked slowly through the sewer pipe, involuntarily shuddering at the creepiness of the place. He finally spotted the opening in the ground that he was looking for. Stooping, he checked to make sure the rope ladder was at the bottom before jumping down.

He landed with a splash and felt cold wetness seeping through the ankles of his jeans. Ignoring it, he took out his flashlight and switched it on. His hands trembled. This room had the same effect on him the last time he had been there as well. Just knowing that he was standing in the very same place that Elliot had been tortured sent chills up his spine.

Nothing had changed. The blood was still on the ground. The torn leather straps still hung from the wall. His mind conjured up the image of Elliot there, bound and screaming, and he started to shake. _Damn it, Munch…focus! _He reached into the small bag that he had on his shoulder and pulled out a camera. He forced himself to become disengaged from his emotions as he set the flash and pointed it at the ground.

The sound of dripping water around him was the only noise in the room as John continued snapping, careful not to miss anything. He wanted to help Elliot so badly….but he just didn't know what to do. Taking pictures of the horrible evidence seemed so trivial right now…but it had to be done, and he wanted it done as soon as possible so that they could prosecute the bastard as soon as he was caught.

"Captain?"

The radio squawked loudly, and Don reached for it as he watched Olivia and Elliot walk into her building. "Go ahead."

The officer on the other end sounded frantic. "Sir, there's a problem. There's a window smashed in one of the apartment's directly across from Benson's."

His heart thumped wildly. "Where are you?" he asked urgently.

"The north side, near the back parking lot," the officer answered. "We just got here."

"Get all units into the building right now," he said, throwing open the door. He tossed the radio and took off for the entrance in a panic.

Elliot gave a huge, tired sigh as he leaned against the wall and waited for Olivia to unlock the apartment door. She smiled and opened it, gesturing him inside first before following him in.

The door to the hall closet was slightly ajar, but not open wide enough to be noticeable. The man peered through the crack when he heard the door open, and his heart began racing in anticipation. He watched the two of them step inside, and she closed the door behind her. Forcing himself to be patient, he clenched his fights tightly to keep himself from bursting out right then. He had to time it perfectly or the plan would fail.

Finally, they went into the living room. Carefully easing out, he tiptoed over to the front door, quietly unlocking it.

"Here, let me have your coat," Olivia said. He was about to sink into the couch, and she knew that he would most likely be going to sleep in a minute. The physical strain of the session last time had made him so weak that he had slept for four hours after getting back. She reached for him and tugged his coat off of his shoulders before he could collapse.

Taking her own coat off, she walked back towards the hall closet. The sight of the front door standing open startled her and made her blood freeze.

"Elliot!" she yelled immediately, turning back to run into the living room. Before she even knew what was happening, a figure was leaping out from behind the open door. She had no time to react as the man grabbed her and shoved her hard outside.

Olivia hit the wall across the hall hard, momentarily stunned. She leapt up quickly and saw the door closing from inside. She flew against the door and pressed her weight against it, frantically trying to stop it from closing. "Elliot!" she yelled out, praying he could hear her.

The man was stronger. She fought for all she was worth against the heavy wood, but her feet slid out from under her as it slammed shut. "No, no!" she screamed, hearing the locks being put in place from inside. Olivia clawed frantically at the knob, but it wouldn't budge. She banged on it desperately, feeling like she was going to pass out.

"Oh, God….oh, God!" she cried, tears streaming down her face. She had to get help **now.** Turning, she took off for the stairwell. She took the stairs three at a time toward the ground floor, praying that the captain was still outside.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

Elliot was alerted by her yelling his name. He heard her slam the door shut and quickly flip the locks in place. Concerned, he struggled up and to his feet. "What's the matter?"

He rushed into the foyer and stopped dead in his tracks. The blood rushed from his face as he stared in shock at the man standing in front of him. He blinked rapidly in desperation. _Wake up, Elliot, _he thought in a panic. _Now would be a good time to wake up!_

The man watched in glee as Elliot started to shake. The blue eyes brightened, sending a wild smile to his face. "Hello, Elliot," he rasped. "I'm sorry I took so long."

Fin pulled up into the parking lot and got out of his car. He knew that Olivia wanted him to call first, but he couldn't wait. He didn't mind waiting if they weren't home yet.

He strolled toward the entrance. "Fin!"

Turning around, he was surprised to see Cragen running toward him with his gun drawn. "Come on, come on," Don said breathlessly, gripping his arm and steering him inside.

"What's going on?" he asked, pulling his own gun.

Before he could respond, a loud bang startled them both. Olivia came flying toward them from the stairwell. Her face was tearstained and she was breathing hard. "He's inside!" she cried, half-sobbing hysterically. "He inside my apartment….Elliot's in there!"

She and Fin took off back toward the stairs. Cragen whirled around and yelled, "All units, upstairs! Fourth floor NOW!" before dashing after them.

The fear had him paralyzed. Elliot could only stare at the face that haunted his dreams every night. Where was Olivia? The man was licking his lips.

"What do you want from me?" Elliot asked, his voice choked.

He didn't respond. A creepy grin curled his lips, and Elliot's eyes were drawn to the hand reaching behind his back. His pulse quickened and his throat closed as the light gleamed on the blade of his knife. _Dear God…I didn't mean it! I don't want to die! _

He had come face to face with death so many times in his career that it didn't even faze him anymore. But he had always had a gun and arms that worked in his favor. He was scared to death, but was going to go down fighting. Turning around, Elliot ran for his life toward Olivia's bedroom.

The three of them skidded to a stop at Olivia's door. Cragen jerked the knob and jammed his shoulder into the door, producing nothing. Twenty police officers swarmed them almost instantly. "Go, go…come on!" Olivia yelled.

Elliot dashed into the bedroom frantically and attempted to shut it with his foot. What was he doing? There was no way he could fight this guy off with two paralyzed arms! The door was opening in a second, and he vainly tried to block it with his body. A strong shove from the other side sent his crashing to the ground.

The man was on him before he could react. Elliot's eyes were glued to the knife in the man's hand, twisting to avoid it. "Keep still," the man growled, pressing his knee into Elliot's stomach. "I told you….those blue beauties are mine."

When he felt the tip of the knife against his left eyelid, Elliot's intuition kicked in. Sliding his legs out from the man, he wrapped them around his attacker's neck and threw his weight sideways. The man was knocked to the side, and Elliot rolled over, struggling to stand.

The man was on him again in a second. He flipped Elliot over, one arm going around his throat. He gurgled in pain, eyes bulging. "Olivia!" he cried, desperately trying to draw air into his lungs.

Keeping his suffocating hold, the man grabbed his knife again and brought it down to his face. Trapped, Elliot squeezed his eyes shut. _Please don't let me feel it…_ he prayed.

As soon as they burst inside, Olivia scanned frantically for Elliot. The room was empty. She heard him scream her name from the back of the apartment. Cragen was running down the hall in a second, and she was on his heels.

She screamed out at the sight of the man on top of Elliot, and made him jump. That was all the hesitation she needed. Surging forward, she wrapped her arms around the man's neck and hurled him away. The others were swarming him in a second, but she hardly noticed.

"Elliot," she choked.

She threw herself down beside him and began frantically checking for wounds. A large gash was on his left temple, and his neck was bruised. He was lying rigid, stunned. She ran her hands over his face. "Elliot," she said desperately. "Honey…can you hear me?"

Reality suddenly set in. Olivia watched his eyes widen and he started to tremble wildly, gasping. "Olivia," he croaked. His eyes filled with tears and he broke down into sobs.

Olivia wrapped her arms around his shaking frame and pulled him to a sitting position, squeezing tightly. "It's alright now, baby," she sobbed, breaking down herself. She pressed her forehead to his. "It's over now. I promise you. It's over."

"It's not over," the man spat out from where he stood handcuffed between two officers. "Don't listen to her, Elliot. I'll be in your head until the day you die!" His voice rose with glee. "Until the day you **die**!"

Cragen was ready to eject a bullet into the man's temple right then. He started toward him, but stopped when he saw Olivia. She had a look on her face that he had never seen before. He stood still, the other officers in the room following his cue, and waited.

Elliot had his face once again hidden in her shoulder, and was shaking like crazy, trying to turn himself as far away from the man as possible. Olivia gently pushed him back, her eyes never leaving the man's face, and loosened her hold. He cried out and tried to burrow against her. She shifted her gaze back to him and her eyes softened as she bent down and whispered something in his ear, running a tender hand over his face.

After a minute, he raised his head shakily and allowed her to move. She lowered him to the floor and turned her back to them, pressing her hand to his cheek for a minute. He backed against the wall, never taking his eyes off of the man. Olivia caressed his face lovingly one more time before getting to her feet.

When she turned back toward them, she had a look of hatred on her face that almost made her unrecognizable. Her fists clenched as she slowly walked up to where the man stood.

She got up to within inches of his face and stopped, her teeth clenched. Fire seemed to radiate from her eyes and body as she glared at him. A million thoughts were swirling in her head, but the one that stood out the most was that the man had the nerve to use Elliot's name….like he _knew_ him. It made her so angry that she shook.

Without batting an eye, she spit on him roughly. The man flinched, but quickly recovered. His eyes gleamed as he stared unwavering at the woman shooting daggers at him with her glare. His lips curled into a sick smile and he leaned in close to her. "You know that present I left in your locker at the precinct?" he rasped quietly. Amusement danced in his eyes. "I saved some of it for myself."

His eyes flickered downward. Olivia slowly followed his gaze, and saw that he had a discolored chunk of Elliot's Marine tattoo embedded in his right shoulder. Cragen saw it as well, and spots danced before his eyes.

She jerked her eyes back to meet his, the brown orbs flashing. Without warning, she drove her fist deep into the man's stomach and didn't let go. He gasped and sagged, and she bent down, forcing him to still be level with her. "That was for Elliot," she hissed.

A second later, she jerked the man's head down and slammed her knee into his face as hard as she could. The sickening sound of breaking bone echoed in the room, and Fin found himself cringing. Olivia didn't even blink. She kept an intense gaze fixed on the man as he slumped, forcing the officers holding him to keep him upright.

Once again, she bent down so that she was level with the man. Don flinched when she shot her hand out and grasped his broken nose roughly. Another crack sounded and the man howled in pain as she jerked him forward by the nose. "And that was for me," she spat out.

She kept her hold for a minute more before releasing him with disgust. The others could see her shaking now, her hands bloody. Silence echoed loudly in the room as they stood still, watching her. She stood still, her chest heaving with anger. After a minute, she turned around. They watched as she went back to Elliot. He looked up at her warily, and she crouched down, bringing herself to a sitting position.

In a matter of milliseconds, the fury was gone from her face. She pulled him to her and wrapped him protectively in her arms. He responded eagerly, melting against her and hiding his face from view again. Her hand smoothed through his hair rhythmically and she began gently rocking him, whispering words that only the two of them could hear.

The others in the room looked at each other awkwardly, not wanting to break the spell of the moment with words. A lump swelled in the captain's throat and he tore his eyes away from his two detectives.

"Come on, you guys," he said to the officers gruffly. "Get this piece of shit out of here."

**Oh…..keep hanging, keep hanging! There's still another stop to make before this journey is over!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

Three officers began dragging the man toward the front door, reading him his rights. Olivia watched as the rest of them left the room after a nod from Cragen and he shut the bedroom door to give them privacy. Her eyes met his, and he nodded understanding before leaving himself.

She hugged Elliot tighter and started running her fingers through his hair. "They're all gone, sweetheart," she soothed. "It's just you and me. Alright? Just you and me."

He raised his face slowly and looked around in hesitation as if he didn't believe her. He sighed shakily and swallowed hard before lowering his head back onto her shoulder and closing his eyes. She pressed her face to the top of his head and closed her eyes too, feeling his rapid heartbeat through his shirt.

Cragen could hear a commotion as he stepped out into the hallway. The officers were standing in a circle in front of the stairwell, and by the sounds he heard, Don could guess what was happening. He took off quickly.

"You bastard!" Fin had the man against the wall and was slamming his fists into his face over and over. His face was twisted with anger. "You messed with the wrong guy," he growled. He punched again. "My friend!"

His arms were starting to shake with fatigue, but he ignored it. He heard the captain calling his name as he kept going. "You wanna hurt someone?" he spat out. "Try me on, you motherfucker!"

"Fin!" Cragen yelled, breaking through the officers. "FIN!"

He threw his arms around his detective's waist like a football player and forced him away. Fin struggled wildly, trying to leap away from him. "Let go of me, Captain!" he yelled. "God dammit…he could have killed him! Motherfucker could have killed him!"

Cragen pinned his arms to his side. He was fighting the inward desire to allow Fin his vengeance. "Relax," he soothed quietly. "Back off. Relax." He felt the muscles quivering under his hand.

Fin gasped in a breath, and Don saw tears in his eyes as he met his gaze squarely. The tension in the arms he held didn't ease. "He could have died, Captain," he choked out. His face changed to one of pain. "Elliot could have died!"

"I know, Fin," he said calmly. "Believe me; I know how much you're hurting over this. I am too. But this isn't the way to solve it. We owe it to Elliot to make sure this guy gets all the punishment the state can give him."

He felt his detective relax, and dropped his arms. Fin took a deep breath and nodded, allowing the other officers to take over in leading the man outside.

After taking as many photos as he could stomach, John climbed up the rope ladder as quickly as he could. He knew that if he stayed in that place one minute longer he would puke. His hands were shaking as he gripped the rope. _God…Elliot was in there for an entire **week**! _A gag escaped before he could stop it, and he forced himself to stop and take a deep breath.

Finally climbing out of the cramped space, Munch made a beeline for the cellar door. But a sudden thought made him stop short. There was another room…he remembered going in there with his partner and the captain. Scrunching up his face in concentration, he turned around and tried to guess which direction he should head.

Acting on impulse, he traced his steps carefully back toward the sewer and went past it. For a while there was nothing but darkness around him, and he started to feel creeped out. He was about to turn around when he saw a crack of light. Shining his flashlight forward, he reached out and touched wood.

The door creaked loudly as he pushed it open slowly. He stepped inside, shining his light around cautiously. Immediately recognizing the room, John walked slowly over to the far wall. He sighed heavily and began removing the pictures and newspaper clippings. Once the wall was bare, he walked over to the desk and began opening drawers. Finding nothing of interest, he did one last sweep with his light.

A flash of white from under the desk caught his eye. He crouched down and reached out to touch vinyl. Pulling it toward him, Munch realized it was a fat three ring binder. He opened it and was shocked at what he saw. Pages of photographs and handwritten obituaries, lined up in chronological order. There were hundreds of them, some over thirty years old. _He kept this to remember each of his victims._

Sickened, he flipped through each one. Each photograph showed the terrified face of a victim. He had seen that kind of look before…each one had been photographed about to die. A feeling of dread filled his chest and he thumbed to the last page, hesitating before turning to it.

Tears filled his eyes and he squeezed his eyes shut briefly. It took him a minute to compose himself. He stared through watery eyes at a photograph of Elliot, tied up to the wall with a look of absolute terror on his face. Bile rose in John's throat, and he slammed the book shut. Tucking it under his arm, he headed for the cellar door.

Elliot was inconsolable. Cragen came back a few minutes later to find them still in the same spot. Olivia was crying as she held him. Don could see his back shaking from where he stood. He walked quietly up to them and touched her shoulder so as not to startle her. She had his head tucked under her chin, and her eyes darted to his. A helpless look was on her face.

Cragen bit his lip as he bent down to their level and got beside Olivia. He placed a gentle hand on Elliot's back and let it rest there.

"Elliot?" he asked softly.

When he got no response, he glanced at Olivia briefly before bringing his other arm around and wrapping it around Elliot's shoulders.

"Elliot," he repeated. He shifted closer. "Come on, buddy."

Elliot shuddered and shifted closer to Olivia. His face was pressed against her neck. "No," he murmured, his voice teary and weak.

He suddenly felt himself being pulled away from her and cried out hysterically, startling the other two. Olivia forced herself to let go of him, feeling like her heart was being ripped out.

Cragen had him in his own embrace in less than two seconds. Olivia watched her normally firm boss cradle Elliot as gently as if he had been a child. "What do you say we get out of here, huh?" Don murmured, rubbing his back gently.

Elliot raised his face to look at him. His expression was agonizing to see. He looked terrified. "Please…I don't want to see him," he said, his voice oddly high-pitched. He squeezed his eyes shut. "Please don't make me see him."

Olivia scooted closer and placed an arm around him as well. "Elliot," she said softly. He looked over at her. "Baby, he's gone. He's been gone. They took him away a long time ago." She looked at him with anxious eyes, nodding her head encouragingly. "Come on, sweetheart. Come with us."

He looked at her a moment and turned back to look hesitantly at the captain. After a minute, he nodded slowly. Olivia and Cragen exchanged relieved glances as they pulled him to his feet.

Munch had been on the road for about ten minutes when his cell phone rang. "Munch," he answered.

The words of his partner made him suddenly swerve, and he was thankful the interstate was desolate as he slammed on the brakes. The car screeched loudly to a stop.

"WHAT?" he cried. "Holy shit…are you at Olivia's now? I'm on my way out there; I'm about half-"

"Dude, would you chill out for a second?" Fin asked in irritation. He shook his head. "We have the guy in custody now. Elliot's fine, Olivia's fine…everyone's fine." He heard a sigh of audible relief. Something suddenly nagged in his brain. "Hey…where you been, anyway? I tried to get a hold of you when we found out the guy was there."

Munch hesitated. "Let's just say that I saved CSU a trip to get evidence."

Fin furrowed his brow. "You didn't…" The silence confirmed his suspicion, and his eyes widened. "Man…Cragen is gonna-"

"This is 'need to know' information, got it?" John cut in anxiously. "I'll meet you back at the precinct."

Cragen had Elliot sitting in the front seat of his car and was tending to the gash on his head while Olivia discreetly dialed Mercy General and asked to speak with Dr. Adams.

When he came on the line, she explained what had happened and told him about Elliot's present state. He furrowed his brow. "Bring him in…I want to make sure those injuries are properly cared for," he said.

Elliot hissed when Don began wiping the area with antiseptic, and he pulled back quickly. "Sorry," he said sympathetically. "I'll be quick."

Olivia came up to them. "I just spoke to Dr. Adams," she said. "He wants to make sure your injuries are alright." Elliot looked at her hesitantly. "It shouldn't take long."

Cragen agreed quickly. She got into the backseat of the captain's car. Elliot swiveled around immediately and began making his way back towards her. He flopped into the seat beside her and cuddled close to her instantly. Olivia moved her arm so that he could rest against her side and draped it across his shoulder, letting her fingers rest in his hair.

He sighed. Cragen met her eyes in the rearview mirror, and she nodded slightly to let him know she didn't mind.

The trip to the hospital was quick. Dr. Adams put three stitches in his temple and gave him some medicated cream to put on the bruises ringing his neck. They would get ugly before they healed, though, and there wasn't anything he could do about that.

"So, Elliot…" For the moment, he and the doctor were alone in the emergency room. Cragen and Olivia were outside waiting for him. Dr. Adams finished taping the stitches and stepped back, looking him in the eye. "How are you doing? The truth."

Elliot considered lying to him. He had a hard enough time admitting to his friends that he was falling apart. But then he remembered the way this man had helped him in the hospital right after he was rescued. He wasn't just an inquisitive doctor- he was a genuinely kind person.

He sighed, his eyes sliding close. "It's getting harder and harder to want to wake up in the morning," he admitted quietly. He fell silent.

To his credit, Dr. Adams didn't push. He stayed silent, looking at him in concern. Finally, he said, "The man who kidnapped you is in jail now?"

Elliot nodded, keeping his gaze to the floor. No matter how many times he heard the word, it never got easier to accept. Kidnapped. He was a kidnap victim. The shame made his face flush.

When he didn't speak again, the doctor continued on. "Listen…I can't imagine being in your situation, Elliot. I have to tell you…you're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for."

The words made his head shoot up. When Elliot looked at him, he was surprised at what he saw. Not shame. Not sympathy. Admiration.

Adams looked him square in the eye. "It's easy to give up," he said. "You haven't."

"You don't know that," Elliot whispered painfully.

He leaned forward and gripped Elliot lightly by the shoulders. Elliot stared into the grey eyes of the doctor. "A lesser man would have been dead by now."

Elliot was so surprised that he couldn't think of anything to say. Dr. Adams smiled warmly and released him. He gathered up his supplies and left the room, leaving Elliot sitting stunned.

The doctor let them go a few minutes later. Cragen headed back to the precinct, promising to see them later. Dr. Adams accompanied them to her car and bid Elliot goodbye, which he returned warmly. When she shut the passenger door, the doctor steered her toward the back of the car where Elliot couldn't see.

"Here," he said, handing her two pill bottles. She looked at them in question until she recognized what they were. She looked up at him and bit her lip.

"How long do you think he'll be like this?" she asked, worry in her tone.

The doctor looked at her with trepidation. "I'm not going to lie to you, Olivia…." He sighed. "It'll probably take a good month or so for him to start accepting any kind of help for this. When he does…then only time will tell the rest."

He looked at her and asked the question that had been on his mind from the very beginning. "Are you sure you can handle this?"

She looked at him sharply. "What are you talking about?" she asked, slightly defensive.

He wasn't offended by her tone. "I can only do so much," he said. "In the end, he may not be able to cope enough to go back to the way things used to be. I just want you to be prepared…he might decide to quit the force."

The words were like a cold knife twisting in her gut, but she forced her expression to remain impassive. "I want what's best for him," she said. "I'll support him no matter what he does."

Dr. Adams nodded silently. "I have no doubts," he said. "Feel free to call if you need me, Olivia."

She nodded, suddenly regretting her sharpness. "Thank you, Dr. Adams," she said sincerely. "I will."

Olivia opened the driver's side door, tucking the anti-depressants and sedatives into her pocket. Elliot was leaned back in the passenger seat with his head turned, and she thought he was asleep until his voice startled her.

"Hey, Liv?"

Startled, she whipped her head to the side to look at him. Olivia was blown away by the look on his face. It was pure, no-holds-barred trust. She had to fight the tears that wanted to escape. "Yeah?" she asked gruffly, clearing her throat.

He smiled, his eyes warm. "Thank you," he said simply.

She almost lost it, but managed to recover. "Anytime," she answered.

The doctor's words came back to her as they fell silent. She had meant what she said. Elliot was her best friend, not Detective Stabler. She would be willing to sacrifice a partner, but she could never turn her back on the man.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

Elliot sat beside Olivia in the courtroom and tried to control his breathing. She glanced at his tight face, and looked down to see his hands shaking in his lap. She gently took one of his hands in hers and gripped it firmly.

It had been two months since the day they had arrested Elliot's kidnapper. The Special Victims Unit was trying their best to regain a sense of normalcy, but the glaringly empty desk beside Munch and Fin's reminded them every day of how their efforts were falling flat.

Elliot's nightmares hadn't eased at all, and Olivia was starting to get seriously worried. The sedatives the doctor gave him seemed to have the opposite effect on him- he would sit up at night, wide-awake, too afraid to relax. When he finally did succumb to exhaustion early in the morning, he got about thirty minutes of rest before being awakened by a nightmare. Then the cycle would start all over again.

She had called the captain two days later and told him that she was taking a temporary leave of absence for an indefinite period. Elliot would be staying with her for the time being, and she was looking into some psychologists for him.

Two weeks later, she had finally found one that he was comfortable with. Dr. Amelia Bernard had an office in Rochester and specialized in post-traumatic stress disorder. It was a bit of a drive, but Olivia didn't mind. He met with her the next day, and they worked out a plan for him to come in three times a week.

It was rough. Elliot felt like he couldn't go on living with the horrible memories, and it broke Olivia's heart to see him so defeated. He cried a lot, and wouldn't eat until Dr. Bernard told him that he would have to have a feeding tube inserted if he kept refusing. Olivia was scared that he might become suicidal.

She finally mentioned this to Dr. Bernard, who told her that although it was painful to see, Elliot's reactions were common. The anti-depressants Dr. Adams had given him didn't seem to be helping, so she prescribed a stronger brand. The main thing she kept stressing to Olivia was not to give up. Elliot had to hit bottom before he could start to make his way back, and it wouldn't be an easy fix.

The only thing that was getting better was Elliot's injuries. He visited the physical therapist weekly, and was slowly starting to regain the use of his arms. Olivia fervently hoped that it would help raise his spirits.

Meanwhile, the precinct was forced to get back to work. It didn't mean that they cared any less, but they still had a job to do. Cragen brought in two lower class detectives to team up with Munch and Fin. It was awkward, to say the least, but unavoidable.

A month after Olivia had taken leave, Arthur Branch paid a visit to the captain. That was highly unusual, and Don couldn't hide his surprise as he invited him into his office. By the look on his face, he hadn't come for a social visit.

"Have a seat," Cragen invited.

"Thank you," he said. He leaned forward and got straight to the point. "Don…I got the grand jury to accept the trial. They set the date for a week from tomorrow."

The captain's eyes lit up. "Arthur, I can't thank you enough. God…that is so excellent!" He noticed, though, that the man sitting in front of him didn't look very happy. "That is good news…isn't it?" he asked slowly.

Branch sighed. "The evidence that we got from Munch is only admissible with victim's testimony," he said heavily.

It took a minute for his words to sink in. "That….that isn't going to happen," Don said matter-of-factly. He scoffed in disbelief at the mere suggestion. "Arthur…Elliot isn't going near that man again."

"I've tried appealing to the judge," Branch said helplessly. "There isn't-"

"Forget it." Cragen's voice had turned hard, and he stared firmly at the District Attorney. "I **won't** make him testify."

"Then you may as well set the guy free, Don!" Branch exploded, leaping up from his chair. He paced to the window and back quickly, his face red. "This guy has been wanted for over thirty years," he snapped. "The only way he can get convicted is with an **account** of what he did. Stabler is the only victim who survived, and he is the **only **one who can tell us that!"

Cragen glared at him silently, and Branch glared back. The challenge lasted a minute before Branch sighed and shook his head. He fell back into the chair with a weary sigh. "Look, I'm not happy about this either,' he said. His voice was now defeated. "Don, I know Elliot. Believe me…if there was a way around this, I would do anything to make it happen. But I can't find one."

The captain sighed and scrubbed his eyes. "Alright, Arthur," he said quietly. "I'll take care of it…somehow."

Olivia was outraged when Cragen showed up at her apartment early the next morning and broke the news.

"No….no way!" she shouted immediately. She quickly remembered that Elliot was still asleep, and glanced briefly toward the hallway before lowering her voice.

"Olivia, there isn't anything we can do about it," Cragen said quietly. "If he doesn't testify, this guy will walk!"

She looked at him in desperation, but didn't say anything. Cragen watched her sigh and take a few steps away from him, running her hands through her hair in frustration.

Finally, she came back up to him. "How am I supposed to tell him?" she whispered, her voice anguished. "How, Captain? He's finally starting to be convinced that this guy is in jail and can't come back…how am I supposed to tell him that he has to sit twenty feet away from him in an open courtroom?"

"You won't."

She looked at him in surprise and confusion. He looked her squarely in the eye.

"We're a team…we stick together," he said. "I'm going to bring Munch and Fin over here and we're all going to tell him together. He needs to know that we have his back….we'll always have his back."

Olivia sighed shakily and nodded unhappily. "Come by this evening," she said softly. "He'll be at the doctor until 4:30."

"What do you mean he has to testify?"

When Cragen told Munch and Fin the news, they didn't take it any better. Their protective instincts kicked into overdrive.

"That bastard," Munch swore. "Branch could have gotten an appeal…bastard's done it before!"

"This isn't Arthur Branch's fault," Cragen said firmly. "There wasn't anything he could do."

Fin was watching his partner warily. The man was absolutely livid.

"Well, then, how come _you _didn't do something?" Munch carried on. "What…..you've gotten used to having half our team gone?"

He realized he'd crossed the line when he saw Don's face turn stormy.

"That's enough, John," he growled with clenched teeth. He got up into his face. "I'm not happy about it either, but playing the blame game won't solve anything!"

The two men stared at each other, breathing hard in anger.

"We need to focus on Elliot," Don said finally. "No matter what happens…he needs us in his corner." He paused. "I told Olivia we would come by tonight to break the news to him."

John took off his glasses and wiped wearily at his eyes as he nodded.

Olivia and Elliot were sitting on the couch watching _Jeopardy _that evening when a knock sounded at the door. He looked surprised when she switched off the TV and stood up slowly. Getting to his feet, he followed her into the foyer.

"Hey, you guys," Olivia said quietly, letting the three of them in.

Elliot looked surprised, but pleased, to see them. "Hi," he said brightly. "It's good to see you guys."

Olivia looked pained, and they realized that she hadn't told him. Cragen forced a smile. "It's good to see you too, Elliot," he said softly.

Silence fell as the five of them stood awkwardly in the foyer. Finally, Olivia broke it. "Come in to the living room," she said, turning around. "You guys want a drink?"

They declined. Cragen sat down in an armchair, Fin on the footrest, and Munch sat on the couch with Elliot and Olivia.

More silence. Olivia, Cragen, Fin, and Munch took turns discreetly glancing at each other and urging the others with their eyes to say something. After a minute, Elliot caught on to what they were doing and became uneasy.

"What's going on here, you guys?" he asked, looking at Olivia. She wouldn't meet his eyes. He turned his gaze from Cragen to Munch to Fin and back again in confusion.

Don finally spoke. "Elliot," he began cautiously. "We…um….we have to tell you something."

The others looked at him, relieved that the captain had taken the helm.

Elliot stared at him. Don suddenly recognized the familiar intensity in his blue eyes that had become second nature. "It's about the trial, isn't it?" He made it a statement rather than a question.

The four of them couldn't mask their surprise. They watched Elliot's face turn angry as he looked at all of them in turn. "I'm still a cop, you know," he snapped bitterly. "I'm not stupid."

No one spoke, and Elliot couldn't hold his angry gaze. He sighed and looked down. When he looked back up, his face was pained. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean to snap."

"The grand jury set a trial date for next week," Fin spoke up, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "The evidence was turned over to the D.A. already."

Now Elliot was genuinely confused. He looked at Olivia in question. "What evidence?"

Munch broke in before she could answer. "I went back to your…" He trailed off, unsure of how to say it in front of Elliot. "To the…uh…"

To his relief, Elliot understood what he was saying and nodded. "I gathered up everything I could find to use as evidence and took pictures," he concluded softly.

Olivia saw the haunted look come back into her partner's eyes. "Like what?" he asked quietly.

She bit her lip and answered him. "Photographs, newspaper clippings….things like that."

He swallowed hard. "Did you get the binder?" His voice had become painfully quiet.

The others looked confused. John nodded gravely, surprising them. "Yeah."

"What are you talking about?" Cragen asked in bewilderment. He hadn't seen anything like that. "What binder?"

Olivia's breath caught when she saw Elliot's chin start to slightly quiver. He bit his lip, his eyes slowly tearing. "He wrote out…." His voice choked and he had to try again. "He wrote out o-obituaries," he said shakily. "For all of his victims before…before he killed them and put them in a white three-ring binder."

His eyes screwed shut and he had to lower his head. "He wrote one for me."

Cragen, Fin, and Olivia were shocked. Munch looked sickened as he said, "I didn't show it to you guys. It's in the trunk of my car." He shook his head. "There are at least a hundred pages in there."

Elliot was hunched over, his head still bowed. Olivia placed a gentle hand on his back and rubbed gently, not speaking.

Cragen closed his eyes and shook his head. "Elliot…."

The others looked at him in surprise when they heard the emotion in his voice, and saw his tear-filled eyes.

"Elliot," he choked out again. "I told the D.A. that I would get you to testify at the trial. They said we wouldn't have a case without it…" He trailed off, and then the tears freed themselves. "But I didn't know about this. I'm sorry. I didn't know."

They watched in shock as their boss began sobbing. "I won't put you through that," he whispered painfully. Elliot looked at him, his face slowly streaming tears as well. "I'm so sorry…I won't put you through that."

Don took a shaky breath and tried to get control. His plan was falling apart.

"If…if I don't testify…" Elliot started to shake. "He'll go free, won't he?" He looked to Olivia with a scared look on his face.

She looked briefly at the torn expressions on her friends' faces. "Don't you worry about it," she said softly. She folded him into a hug. "We'll think of something."

She sighed hopelessly and met the captain's anguished eyes over Elliot's head. "We'll think of something," she repeated softly.

Olivia hadn't been able to follow through on her promise. They were told in no uncertain terms that if Elliot wasn't on the witness stand the day of the trial, they were going to throw out the case. It went over the captain's head to the commissioner, and there wasn't a thing any of them could do about it.

Olivia helplessly as Elliot spiraled down again. He started withdrawing himself from Dr. Bernard, and his appetite slacked off. The depression started to get so bad that he started to wall himself away from her. He would often shut himself in her bedroom for hours at a time, and begged her not to go near him.

It all built up and came to a head a week later. Olivia had just gotten out of the shower and went into the kitchen to make some hot tea.

"Elliot?" she called.

He wasn't in the living room where she had left him. When she turned to go back into the kitchen, she suddenly noticed that the hall closet door was open. A funny feeling rose in the pit of her stomach, and she quickly walked toward it.

A gut feeling made her stretch on her tiptoes to view the wooden shelf at the top, and she prayed that it was just her nerves getting the better of her. Dizziness ambushed her at an alarming rate when she was able to see. The lockbox where she stored her service piece and badge was open. The gun was gone.

Olivia took off down the hall, screaming Elliot's name. The closed bedroom door made her feel sick. Coming up to it, she gripped the knob and panicked when she found it locked. He had never locked the door before. She began beating on it.

"Elliot!" she cried hysterically. "Oh God, Elliot…please, baby…." Her voice started to break. "Open the door. Please open the door for me." She put her ear to the door and listened anxiously.

"Go away, Olivia." His voice was deadly calm on the other side, and it scared the hell out of her. "Just go away."

"Open the door!" she begged. In frenzy, she began kicking and beating at the wood. "God damn you…." She suddenly fell to the ground in tears and sobbed. "God damn you!"

She could hear him crying on the other side. Getting shakily to her feet, she turned and made a dash for the kitchen. Picking up the phone, she pressed the first button that her shaking finger landed on, not even looking to see whose it was.

John was turning out his bedroom light when his cell phone rang. He pushed aside his covers and sat up. "Hello," he answered sleepily.

Olivia's hysterical voice woke him up fast. "Whoa, whoa…" He reached for his glasses quickly. "Olivia…." Her words made him sick to his stomach, and he froze momentarily. "Hang on," he said, slipping on his jeans quickly. "I'll be there in ten minutes."

He made it in less than five. Pounding up the stairs, he pulled out the key that she had given him years ago and let himself in. "Liv!" he yelled, running through the foyer.

She came dashing in from the hallway, sobbing. He gripped her shoulders to still her frantic movements. "Where is he?"

"In my room," she cried. "Oh god, John…he won't open the door!"

"Alright, Olivia," he said, trying to calm her down. "Just relax. I'm going to see if I can get him to let me in."

She looked at him with a look of fear that he had never seen.

"Listen to me," he continued, still gripping her shoulders. "I want you to go find something that I can use to jimmy the lock." He looked at her steadily. "Do you understand?"

She nodded quickly.

John walked to the bedroom door and knocked lightly.

"Go away, Olivia!" Elliot cried.

"Elliot," Munch called. "It's John."

"Leave, John…" His friend's voice was distraught and broken. "Please…please just leave me alone."

"John." The harsh whisper alerted him of Olivia's return. She was holding out a small screwdriver. He took it from her and bent down in front of the door, sliding it into the keyhole while he continued to talk to Elliot.

"Hey….hey, buddy," he said, keeping his eyes on his task. "Talk to me. Just talk to me…tell me what's going on."

Olivia was standing beside John, and her breath caught when Elliot didn't respond. She looked at Munch with wide eyes.

"Elliot," John said, trying to keep his voice calm. "Can you hear me, Elliot?"

Still nothing. The door unlocked with a soft _click_ and he stood up, slowly opening it. He gestured for Olivia to stay put as he stepped gingerly inside.

He shut the door softly behind him. The room was empty. Confused, he started walking towards the closet, and that's when he saw him.

Elliot was sitting on the floor against the corner of the bed, which was why John hadn't been able to see him. He had his hand wrapped around Olivia's gun, which was resting barrel-down on his chest. He was crying silently, his face slack. His expression was utterly defeated.

The sight stopped Munch in his tracks. Elliot glared up at him, and he quickly held his hands out. "Whoa, Elliot," he said, keeping his eye on the gun. "Hey…let's just relax, ok?"

The cold glare never faltered. "I told you to leave," he said with clenched teeth. "Just leave me alone."

John slowly crouched down, making sure to keep his hands out in front of him. Elliot watched his every move like a predatory animal. He dropped to the floor and carefully slid closer to him.

"Talk to me, buddy," he pleaded. "Please…whatever it is, I can help you."

Elliot rolled his head away from Munch and scoffed sadly. "Save your breath," he said. "There's no way you could possibly understand."

"Hey." John's voice was firm yet sympathetic. "This is me you're talking to, man…come on. I won't bullshit you."

Elliot was silent. John felt his hands sweating and starting to tremble. His mind unconsciously flashed back to the day his father committed suicide. He made sure to keep his gaze resting on the gun in Elliot's hand, as if his look could somehow stop it from going off.

"I can't deal with it." Elliot kept his head turned away as he spoke in a trembling voice. "Everything I see reminds me of that….that place. I let everyone down and I can't deal with it anymore."

John saw that Elliot's hands were also sweating. He used it to his advantage, knowing the grip wouldn't be as tight. He moved his hand slowly upward, keeping his eyes on his friend's face.

"You didn't let us down, Elliot," he said softly. "Why would you think that?"

"What kind of cop lets himself get kidnapped?" he burst out angrily. "I should have fought the bastard, John! But I didn't! I acted like a pussy and let him take control of me!"

John's fingers closed discreetly over the end of the gun, and he was careful to keep Elliot's attention on him.

"You did the right thing, Elliot," he said pleadingly. "You could have set him off by fighting him. Cooperating with him was the only way to stay alive."

Elliot shook his head angrily. "What good does it do now?" he cried. "I'd rather be dead than living in this hell! I can't take it…nobody understands what it's like." He broke down into sobs. "I can't do this on my own."

Munch raised his other arm and slid it around Elliot's shoulders. "You're not on your own," he choked out. "Elliot, we're a family…all of us together. We want to carry this burden for you." A sob escaped him, and he had to fight to speak around it. "Please let us help you."

The emotion in John's voice made him swivel his head around. In all the years he had known him, Elliot had never, ever seen John Munch cry. But yet here he sat, beside him, and he had tears running down his face. "We've gotten through this much," he gasped. "Please, Elliot….please don't end it now. Let us be here for you. I promise you…we'll always be here for you."

Elliot looked down. He saw John's hand over his, gripping the gun, and looked back to his face. Munch held his breath, prepared to make a move. He watched a hundred emotions flash over Elliot's face, and then the gun was on the ground, his hand dangling limply at his side.

Then, he shattered. John quickly wrapped his other arm around him and pulled him into a hug, feeling his body shaking. He was shocked when he felt Elliot slip his arms around his neck and hug him back. He hung on like John was a lifeline and sobbed hard.

It broke John's heart, and he felt his own sobs bubbling. "I'll always be here for you," he said hoarsely, rubbing his friend's back soothingly. "Always."

He broke down then and cried with him.

**The next chapter will conclude the story…please tune in, twists await! Please review also!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU. It belongs to a genius named Dick Wolf. No profit is being made from this story.**

The courtroom began to fill up. Olivia glanced up briefly as people began passing their row on the way to a seat. She quickly returned her attention to her partner, who was anxiously jiggling his foot. There were so many things that she wanted to say to ease his nervousness, but at the moment nothing was popping into her head. She just sat next to him and held his hand tightly in hers.

The previous night had been bad. Elliot hadn't been able to sleep because he was so afraid that the man was going to somehow find a way to go after him during the trial. Olivia had tried all night to relax him, and therefore hadn't gotten any sleep either. To say they were on edge was an understatement.

The captain, Munch, and Fin entered the courtroom and slid into the bench next to them. Olivia acknowledged them with a small smile, but Elliot didn't even glance their way. He was staring ahead with a distant look in his eyes. A slight shake of her head told them not to say anything.

It was three minutes until the trial would begin. The jury filed in and took their seats, and the bailiff headed for the back to shut the doors. Elliot felt panic surging in his chest, making him short of breath.

The banging of the judge's gavel made him jump. The captain, sitting on one side of him, felt it and draped a comforting arm around him, squeezing his shoulder.

Fin sat up a little straighter. _Show time, _he thought grimly.

Munch was on the end of the row, and was gripping the edge of the bench in a white-knuckled fist. He could feel the nervousness coming off of Elliot in waves, and prayed for a quick and painless deliberation to put an end to this nightmare.

The sound of a door opening brought their attention to the side of the room, along with everyone else's. All chatter immediately died as the distinct sound of chains echoed from the distance. Elliot felt his heart start to thump wildly, and had to swallow hard. _Don't look at him...don't look at him…_

Two court officers escorted the man towards the defense attorney's table. He wore handcuffs and ankle shackles. Olivia squeezed Elliot's hand firmly, feeling it start to tremble. He bit his lip and stared at the man, unable to look away.

When they came past where the five of them were sitting, the man turned and looked directly at him. Olivia felt him slide closer to her. She was gripping his hand tightly, and brought her other one down to clasp it in assurance. His other hand shot out and grabbed the captain's. Don was startled, but instantly clutched it firmly in his own.

The man's eyes took in the group in the bench. The two male detectives were looking at him with challenge clear in their postures. Olivia was glaring daggers at him, and the older bald man looked like he was busy murdering him over and over again in his mind.

His face twisted into an amused grin. They were trying so hard to make him squirm….if only they knew how much of the opposite effect their efforts were having on him! Then he squared his gaze, and his eyes glazed. There was Elliot, between Olivia and the older man. He was so beautiful…his eyes sparkled like crystal diamonds in the light of the courtroom. The man smiled endearingly at him as the officers pushed him on.

Elliot started to breathe loud, panicked breaths through his nose. Olivia tore her gaze away from the man in handcuffs. "Relax, Elliot," she instructed quietly, turning to face him. She tore one of her hands from his death grip and used it to stroke the back of his neck. "Just relax. He can't hurt you."

The bailiff came in front of the judge's stand and began reading from the court docket. "Docket number 135: People vs. David James Spilner. One count stalking, one count kidnapping, one count attempted murder."

_David James Spilner._ Elliot found it hard to hear that the monster actually had an average name. He wouldn't have guessed.

The judge addressed the defense attorney. "How does your client plead?"

"Not guilty, your honor," the well-dressed man said.

Cragen saw Elliot's jaw drop. "What?" he hissed incredulously. He looked at the captain in disbelief and panic. "How could they-?"

"Don't worry about it," Olivia said softly. She patted his knee. "He's going to jail. Don't worry about it."

It was difficult for Elliot to watch each of his friends get up on the stand and tell about their side of the ordeal. They described in detail the endless hours of searching and the types of methods used in looking for him. Olivia was grilled on her decision to shoot the man, but defended herself readily. They continued on to tell the jury of the condition of the prison Elliot had been in when he was found, and his physical trauma afterward.

The district attorney introduced each piece of evidence that Munch had gotten, right down to the smallest newspaper clipping. Elliot squirmed when he saw the pictures, and none of his friends missed it.

When the last piece of evidence had been reviewed, Elliot felt his throat tighten. He knew what was coming next. He bit his lip and forced himself to relax. _Do it, Elliot, _he thought to himself. _Don't let this guy win._

"The defense calls Elliot Stabler to the stand," Spilner's attorney said.

They waited a minute, but no one came forward. The attorney repeated the statement, louder this time. Still no one came.

The three men looked over at Elliot. He was clutching Olivia's hand so tightly that his knuckles were white. He looked at them with a terrified expression.

"I can't do this," he whispered in a panic. He started to shake. "I can't."

"Elliot…" Cragen began, leaning toward him.

"Will the witness please come forward?" the judge boomed.

Olivia cringed. He sounded pissed. She turned toward her partner. "Elliot," she said. "You can do it. Come on, baby…we talked about this. You'll be fine."

He saw the judge glaring at him. He swallowed hard and turned toward Olivia, looking like he was going to throw up. "I can't," he repeated frantically. "Please…tell them I changed my mind…please Olivia, tell them I changed my mind!"

The judge stood up then, looking absolutely outraged. "Young man," he said threateningly. "If you are not out of your seat in the next ten seconds, I will have the bailiff come and get you."

Olivia ripped his hand away from hers and cupped his face firmly. "Go, Elliot," she said urgently, fighting tears. "We're only a few feet away, sweetheart."

Spilner suddenly whipped around and leaned over the wooden panel separating the crowd from him. He had a sick smile on his face. "Come on over here, Elliot," he rasped with glee. "I'll be good."

The judge slammed the gavel down in a second. "Silence your client, counselor," he barked. "Or I'll do it for you."

The man laughed and turned back around, clamping his jaw shut.

Elliot shook his head, tears streaming down his face. Leaning over, he gripped her middle and pressed his body into hers, burying his face in her jacket. She felt him shaking with sobs. Biting her lip, she looked at the judge.

The old man's expression had suddenly changed to one of compassion as he looked at them.

"Your honor," the defense attorney said shortly. "My client has the right to a smooth trial…without the hassle of an uncooperative witness."

"Go to hell," Fin spat out suddenly, glaring at the attorney. "He's _afraid_ of him, you asshole."

"That's enough," the judge snapped at both of them. He looked icily at the attorney. "Let me remind you that this man is not a witness, counselor. He is a **victim**, who your client has clearly done a good job of intimidating."

The attorney went silent, and the judge looked at him as if daring him to say anything else. Then the judge looked out at Elliot again. Olivia had coaxed him out from hiding his face, but he hadn't let go of her.

"Son," he called, his voice kind.

Elliot looked at him with fear on his face. The old man smiled reassuringly at him. "You have nothing to be afraid of. There are a number of armed officers in this room…." He shifted his gaze to the protective group around him and said lightly, "As I am sure you already know. I give you my word that the defendant will not speak or even look at you."

He felt himself be pulled to his feet and shepherded toward the front of the courtroom before he could even react. The judge was looking at him sympathetically. He felt bad for the clearly distressed man beside him.

"Would you like a drink of water?" he asked kindly. Elliot shook his head quickly.

"No…no thank you," he said shakily. The judge nodded and gestured to the bailiff.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" the bailiff asked robotically.

"Yes…yes." Elliot stammered.

"Please be seated."

He lowered himself into the witness stand, his eyes darting to where his friends were sitting. Olivia met his gaze and gave him a warm smile, gesturing with her fingers for him to keep his focus on her. She saw him relax slightly as the defense attorney stood.

"Mr. Stabler…"

Elliot leaned forward and shortly cut him off. "Detective."

The man faltered. "Excuse me?"

"It's _Detective_ Stabler," he said.

Cragen, Munch, Fin, and Olivia all looked at each other with the same expression of triumph on their faces. For a brief moment, Elliot had become his old, confident self.

"Excuse me, _Detective_ Stabler." The attorney tried not to appear miffed. He stepped around the table and began to ask a question. Spilner suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him down, whispering something.

A ripple passed through the courtroom. Munch and Fin exchanged a look with Olivia, but Cragen's eyes were zeroed in on the man sitting at the table. He didn't like the way he was suddenly smiling.

"Is there an issue, Counselor?" the judge asked in an irritated tone.

The attorney whispered something to the man and straightened. "Yes, your honor," he replied. "My client wishes to exercise his constitutional right to act in his own defense and would like to question the witness himself."

"NO!" Elliot screamed, before the judge could say anything. He leaped up quickly.

The four of them were on their feet in two seconds and making their way out of the bench. People began chattering excitedly and the noise level increased.

"Silence in my courtroom!" the judge bellowed, effectively shutting everyone up. He glared out at the occupants in the room. Olivia halted with her hand on the wooden panel separating the crowd from the attorneys, her stance defensive.

"It is in the subtext of the Articles of Confederation, your honor," the defense attorney said quickly. "My client has the right at any time to waive professional counsel and represent his own interests."

"Your honor, this is outrageous!" the prosecution attorney cried. "What questions could the defendant _possibly_ have to ask the man he kidnapped?"

"Please," Elliot pleaded, looking at the judge. He was shaking violently, pressed up against the wall. Tears were blurring his vision. "You can't let him near me." The tears spilled out and his voice became shrill. "He wants to kill me…don't let him near me!"

The judge's face softened as he looked at Elliot, and he turned back to face the defense attorney. "Request denied," he said, his voice hard. His voice softened and he looked back to Elliot. "You may step down, Detective."

"Your honor-!" the defense attorney protested.

"Quiet, Counselor," the judge said stonily. The man stopped talking. "I am appalled that you would even _think_ that I would consider such a preposterous idea as a kidnapper questioning his own victim." He looked at the attorney as if burning holes into him.

This man," he continued, gesturing to Elliot, "was an innocent victim in a sick game of brutality and horror carried out by the defendant over the course of the last three decades. Your client has already done a fantastic job of traumatizing him. I will not let you use my courtroom as an excuse to further the damage."

He looked out at the crowd. "The witness is excused from the courtroom," he said.

The defense attorney looked about to argue until the judge glared at him. He turned to the jury. "The jury will disregard any previous statements and will make a decision based on the testimonies of the eyewitnesses and the tangible evidence presented."

"What about my client's rights, your honor?" the attorney persisted. "He deserves the chance to tell his side of the account."

The man at the table laughed. "You want my side?" he said gleefully. He whipped around to face Elliot. "Tell him, Elliot. Tell him about the fun we had!"

Cragen and Munch moved in front of Elliot as he shrank away from him, glaring at the man hatefully.

"I will not ask again to silence your client," the judge said. "If-"

"He's the perfect one!" the man continued, his voice rising in excitement. He stood up. "Look at him! Look at him! He's perfect!"

The judge slammed the gavel down. "Court officers, remove the defendant," he ordered. "The jury is excused to deliberate."

The man continued ranting excitedly even as he was dragged away. Elliot broke away from his friends and took off out of the courtroom. Olivia followed quickly.

"Elliot!" she called, seeing him ahead of her.

He skidded to a stop in front of the nearest trash can and started to heave into it. She was at his side in an instant, but said nothing.

When he finished, he groaned and looked at Olivia. "I want to go home," he croaked. "Please, Liv….let's just go. Please."

She started to respond, but was interrupted by an unfamiliar voice. "Mr. Stabler."

They both turned around to come face to face with the judge. "I want to offer my sincerest apologies to you, son," he said, gripping his shoulder lightly. "And also to let you know that I am in awe of your strength. You are, in my book, one of the bravest men that I've ever had the honor to meet."

Elliot looked at him in shock, unable to believe the man's words. _Is he serious?_ He had never felt so embarrassed in his life….and yet this man was complimenting him and calling him brave.

"Thank you, sir," he said finally, his voice revealing his shock. "That means a lot to me."

By now, the others had joined them. The judge smiled sadly at the group as he went on, "My daughter was kidnapped when she was 17…and she didn't survive. That man in there is going to be found guilty, even if I have to step down from my position to do it."

They were shocked into silence at his words. The judge didn't give them a chance to speak. He clapped Elliot on the back and was gone before they could react.

Cragen and Fin decided to go back in and hear the verdict. Olivia, John, and Elliot ambled around outside the courthouse, enjoying the warm sunshine.

"Hey…you guys?" Elliot asked.

The other two looked at him. They had been in mid-conversation, but stopped in surprise.

"Would you…what would happen if I…." He had to take a breath, not believing his own words. "What happens if I decided not to go back to work?"

Olivia lost her breath. She had feared this all along, but had been selfishly pushing it out of her mind. Now she felt herself starting to tear up. If Elliot left, she would be done. There was no way she could bring herself to work with another partner.

But before she could speak, John did. He leaned forward and surprised Elliot by gripping him lightly on the shoulders and staring directly into his eyes. "Nothing," he said. "Leaving the job will not change who you are. You are Elliot Stabler….the best person I have ever known. No thing or person can ever take that away."

Elliot was speechless at his friend's words, as was Olivia. Her phone rang as she was trying to find her voice, and she picked it up.

"Thank you," Elliot said finally. Munch smiled warmly, meaning every word.

Olivia suddenly turned toward them, hanging up. She stared at them, her expression stunned.

"What's the matter?" John asked.

She shook her head for a minute and looked at Elliot. He looked at her in concern.

After a minute of silence, she took a breath and said, "Guilty on all charges." Her eyes brimmed with tears as she smiled. "Fifty years without parole."

Elliot had returned to Dr. Bernard the following week. Another month passed, and he finally moved back into his own apartment. It was going to be a hard adjustment…but he had no choice. He had to start living his own life again. Olivia came to see him every day.

The two detectives that Munch and Fin had been working with had moved to take Olivia and Elliot's desk, who had not returned to work. They weren't happy about not having them there….but they knew that Olivia wouldn't do the job without Elliot.

But, strangely, the five of them were closer than ever. Cragen called both Elliot and Olivia every day, and they got together at least twice a week. Olivia was considering a job with Social Services, but hadn't made a decision yet. Elliot wasn't ready to think about another job yet…but he was doing everything he could to get himself ready.

It hurt. Their lives had all been forced to change in ways that none of them would have ever dreamed about six months ago. Elliot had been changed….not for the worse, but he still could never go back to the way he was before. It wasn't fair…but he had learned to deal with it.

Towards the beginning of spring, Munch came into the squad room first and made a pot of coffee. His partner and the other two detectives were not there yet. He heard the good-natured groans of the other detectives in the room throwing jibes about his bad coffee, and rolled his eyes.

The door to Cragen's office opened, and Fin came out.

"Aw, dude…come on, let me at least get a cup of the old stuff before you ruin it," he said.

"Shut up," he grumbled in amusement. "What were you doing?"

He was surprised to see his partner looking rather contrite. "Mullens and Erickson got transferred," he said, referring to the two they had been working with.

"What?" Munch asked. He looked at Don, who had come out of the office. "We're going solo again? What's with that?"

"No, don't worry," Don said. "I found some replacements for you." He looked at the coffeepot in hesitation. "Hey…you want to let someone else do that?"

Munch rolled his eyes. "Geez, get over the coffee!" he said, looking at him fiercely. "Who's going to work with us now?"

"Come on, Munch….at least give us a warning before you contaminate our coffee!"

John slammed the coffeepot down at the voice behind him. "Alright, you know what?" he asked in anger. He turned around, prepared to give whoever it was a tongue-lashing.

Don had a twinkle in his eyes, and Fin was biting his lip to contain his laughter at the look on his partner's face.

Elliot was grinning like a banshee as he stood in the doorway. Olivia was behind him. They both had badges and guns on.

"I mean, geez…" Elliot continued. "If you didn't want us to come back, you could've at least said something instead of trying to poison us!"

Several excited shouts were heard from the other detectives in the squad room as they saw who was there.

"Holy shit!" John cried finally. He smiled so wide that he thought his face would break. "You're back?"

"Yeah, well…" Olivia interjected, going to her old desk. "We couldn't very well let our good names get tarnished by some rookies, could we?"

Cragen looked at them with delight in his eyes. "Alright," he said. He tried to firm up his voice. "Enough chit-chat….get your asses to work!"

Elliot and Olivia laughed at John, who was still looking shocked. Finally, Munch turned away from the coffee station.

"Hell!" he cried. "Who wants Starbucks?"

**The End**

**Wow…look at me….drained again! I hope this story and its processor have been enjoyable to read. You can't get rid of me that easily though…a new story is in the works as we speak! Hope you will all come back again to see me!**


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